Accepting My Story

I had a great conversation with a dear college friend yesterday.  She had some wonderful news to share with me.  As she was talking, though, I found myself growing bitter.  You know, the kind of bitter that smiles and says, "Wow!  That is so wonderful for you." and thinks, "Where's MY charmed life?"  Obviously, things were seriously skewed in my mind.  Things have not always been smooth for my friend. She has had her bright and dark moments.  Through the good, bad and ugly, she has followed hard after Christ.  He has her heart and she is committed to Him.  This commitment makes her a fantastic wife, mom and Christian.  Her commitment to the heart of God led her and her husband to Nepal to adopt their son...even though the Country was in the middle of political strife and they had to pass through armed guards to get to their child.  Oh yeah, and all transportation workers were on strike the whole time.  Sounds charmed, doesn't it? :)
This friend was very gracious as I lamented over the hardships of the past year.  As I whined about our adoption woes and our tornado and anything else I could think of...she listened.  I complained about how rotten it felt to open your heart up and say, "Yes, Lord!" and find that the path is filled with difficulty.  Why is our path so hard and others seem to have an easy road?  Why do we keep hitting obstacles and others seem to flawlessly walk the path God lays out.  And seriously...WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE????
And then she said something that stopped me in my tracks.

"It's not a race, girl"  "You're not in a competition with other Christ followers."

Wait!  That is so true.  I am not in a race toward adoption against other believers.  I'm not in a competition to have the best story when we're sitting around the campfire with Jesus.  This is my story....that is theirs.  My story will be filled with God's direction. (leading me out of my bad choices and toward my amazing husband).  My story will be filled with God's beauty. (creating four beautiful babies with said husband).  My story will be filled with God's grace. (the wonderful family and friends we have).  My story will be filled with God's protection. (as our house came apart around us and God's hands were over us...holding us inside the building and keeping us alive)  And my story will be filled with God's refinement.  Every day He is trying to mold me into something that resembles my Savior.  And God is very persistent.  I'm pretty sure that my brand of clay is very difficult to mold.
Today, I will try to accept my story.  It might not always be a smooth one and I might fall along the way.  But it is a God story.  However it turns out...with a China adoption, or an adoption out of foster care...or (gasp) both!  God will be in it and my story will be His story.  That is a story I can accept!