PINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahhh, I am in love with pink.  I had no idea how many shades of pink there are.  For years, my life was dark blue, light blue, medium blue.  But now.....my senses are filled with pink.  Did you know there is a whole other section at retail stores dedicated to pink?  I'd never noticed things like flowers and lady bugs.  When we started this journey of adoption, all I could see was a child.  Obviously, if given the choice, we'd like to experience parenting a daughter.  But, I never really went beyond that.  I didn't think about how different girls are than boys.  But now I'm thinking about ballet and dolls and dresses and mommy/daughter stuff.  I feel like I'm trying to hold a ball under water sometimes.  It will still be several months before we welcome her home.  But I can't help it.  I have caught the fever.  So, I made my first pink purchase.  PAINT.  We are painting her room pink.  I love it!  And then my second purchase for her came quickly after.  It is the softest, pinkest, most girly blanket I've ever seen.  I just want to hold it and think about her.
My husband thinks I've lost my mind a little.  Although, I see the excitement in his eyes too.  We have so much work to do before she can come home.  We have more paperwork to file, more waiting on the government, more money to save.  But, I know the time will fly by quickly.  And the nesting helps me during this waiting time.
Hubby and I were able to have a date on Sunday night.  It was so warm that we went for a walk around a pond and park near our home.  It was wonderful to hold hands and talk uninterrupted.  We laughed and reminisced.  We reconnected.  It was awesome.  He remarked that the times he feels most alive in his walk with Christ is when we are doing things that require great faith.  It is true.  The mundane of life can take over.  I think that we all are searching for those journeys of faith.  But we sometimes fill the desire too quickly with shopping, eating, and carnal desires.  Can someone please pass me another diet coke and a peanut butter chocolate bar?  Thanks!  We are all searching for the next great thing.  But, it is only fulfilling when it is the next great "God" thing!  I know our journey will continue to require God's patience and grace.  I'm sure the temper tantrum I threw at the feet of the creator last week will not be my last.  I will continue to need his encouragement and his love to see this thing through.  And when we're home with her and parenting five kids through this crazy life, we're going to need him even more!
Our eleven year old son was on a Scouting camping trip from Friday through Sunday.  My six year old cried because he missed his brother.  The whole weekend felt "off" without that certain personality mixed in.  It just felt...well, wrong.  When he got home on Sunday night, I thought I would feel relieved.  I kept saying to my husband that I couldn't wait until all of our kids were under the same roof again.  But, that can't be true right now.  My heart will rest on the evening when I can make the rounds and see five sweet sleeping children safely in their beds.  And you can bet your bottom dollar that while four of them are resting under blankets covered in basketballs, baseballs, and footballs....one of them will be snuggling something PINK!  :)

Growing Healthy Children

The fact that I am about to use a gardening analogy is actually quite hilarious.  I am, notably, the world's worst gardener.  If brown thumbs exist, I surely have one!  Every time my poor mother in law leaves her plants in my care, she has to return and nurse them back to life. Some of her plants have been a true Lazarus story.   So, everyone that knows this about me will have to push it to the back of their minds during this blog post.  I was falling asleep last night and I was thinking about my kids.  I was thinking about the kind of day we had.  Most importantly, I was thinking about how I parented them.  D-Dog probably watched a little more TV than he should have.  But, I scored points for letting him tattoo his own face with markers.  Extra points for actually taking him out in public that way....especially since he was also wearing a spiderman costume.  I cooked for my kids, read to my kids, carted them around to basketball practice, helped them oh so patiently with homework.  But, the memory that stuck out the most for me involved my six-year old.  He is VERY emotional.  Or, I guess I should say, he is very vocal with his emotions.  He is flourishing in school.  But, he begs me everyday to let him stay home with me.  This morning, he VERY excitedly told me that today is going to be the best day ever.  It is the 100th day of school.  After today, he gets to spend LOTS of time with me and then he'll be in 1st grade.  Guess he caught the hype, but not the memo that there are 80 more days after the 100th day.  Ummm, to say he was disappointed would be an understatement.
My kindergartner has a loose tooth.  VERY loose.  Behind it, the permanent tooth is actually half-way up.  But to make me crazy, he keeps asking me to pull it out, and then after biting me, turning his bottom lip into steel, and crying...he changes his mind.  This makes me LOCO!  Especially since we've done this routine about 10 times.  Finally, in my not so proud moment, I yelled at him.  And I never yell at him.  He is so very tenderhearted.  I told him to NEVER ask me to take a tooth out again.  YIKES.  After my temper tantrum was over, I did apologize.  What was behind his behavior?  Fear!  He was afraid.  And how did I handle it?  I yelled at him.  I held him, talked with him, and read him some stories.  By the time he went to sleep, all was ok in his world again.  But, I still felt a little sting remembering my insensitivity.
So, in my pre-sleep state, I thought about my job as a mom.  I thought about how I pour into my kids each day.  I got a different view of them.  They were all fragile little seedlings in a potted plant when they were placed into my care.  It is the love that I pour into them that helps them grow into the delicate and amazing flowers that they are meant to be.  If I don't give them what they need to grow, they will die...emotionally.  It happens to so many kids out there.  When I yelled at B during the tooth episode, It was like hurricane winds to his tender little plant.  I know they will all grow up to be different (flowers).  But, the end goal is to raise healthy, beautiful ones...exactly as they were intended to be...matching the picture on the seed packet.  :)  That is God's design for my parenting.  My prayer today is that I will honor the differences in my children.  That I will give them what they need to navigate this difficult life.  And that ultimately, despite my failures, and regardless of my successes, they will grow to be exactly who they were created to be.  And holding to the analogy...some plants are harder to raise than others.  :)  I just pray that God will give me what I need to raise them well.

Kung Hei Fat Choi

Happy Chinese New Year!!  We are entering into the year of the Rabbit.  During the last "year of the Rabbit", I became a mom for the first time.  During this year of the Rabbit, I'm hoping to become a mom to a daughter for the first time. :)  We celebrated as a family tonight.  I worked with the boys to make some colorful Chinese lanterns.  After which, my Chinese husband informed me that lanterns aren't really a New year thing...more of an Autumn Moon Festival thing.  Well, since I don't have time to whip up a dragon or lion costume, lanterns it is! Hubby made some delicious Mu Shu.  And we all sat around enjoying a fun evening meal together.  As usual, our conversation ended up on a sister that is half a world away.  The kids wondered what she was doing right now.  And I reminded them that if things progress like they are supposed to, she will be here with us for our celebration next year.  Wow!  That gives me chills to type it.
Hubby is putting the last of the four kids to bed. Our plan is to have a little date tonight.  I made brownies.  Yes, I know brownies are not traditional Chinese fare...but I am, after all, American.  :)
Another snow day tomorrow.  Yes, my kids have only been to school one day this week.  As much as they drive me crazy when they fight, these are days that I am storing up and treasuring in my heart.  There will be a day when they are spread out all over the world.  I certainly do LOVE having them all under one roof.
Good night and Happy New Year!  I'm off to love on my husband.