Great Expectations

You could look at this picture and assume one of two things.  Either my children were taking a moment to soak in the quiet awe of a Christmas Eve fire, or...they were contemplating how badly Santa's butt would get burned sliding down *this* chimney.  :)  Actually, if you chose the first, you would be correct.  After a beautiful service at a nearby church, Hubby put a good ole Duraflame in the fireplace and we enjoyed the calm, quiet light of the fire.  There is something about this particular lighting that has a profound affect on my children.  We have been known to eat our dinner by candlelight on many occasions (so dark you can barely see what you're eating...serves a double purpose..mwahahaha).  On nights when we dine by candlelight, there is a wonderful ambiance.  I love to see my children in a different light.  There is a soft glow on each of their faces and they seem to share more about their day.  No one cuts in on a sibling's story...it is sweet.  So, I shouldn't have been surprised to glance over and see all of my children lined up in front of the fireplace that night.  Wouldn't it be amazing to know what was going on inside the mind of each sweet life.  They were absolutely silent. And I couldn't help but contemplate them.  They were designed by God...formed by God...pursued by God.  Each life holds so much potential.  And the weight of that hit me like bricks.  My role, my honor, my responsibility is to make sure that each of them is given a safe, encouraging place to grow into the men God created them to be.  Who will they be?  What will they do to change the world?  Each day, I have the awesome opportunity to teach them that they have so much to offer and that giving is better than receiving.  I get to show them daily by cleaning up their messes and wiping away their tears that there is a Father in Heaven that loves them more than anything and He sacrificed His greatest treasure for them.  He has great expectations for their lives...and so do I.  When I see these four amazing individuals, I feel blessed beyond measure.  I get a front row seat to the story of their lives.
  Do you look at the people around you with Great Expectations?  Do you see them the way God sees them? 
As we approach a new year, a fresh start, and, no doubt, some lofty resolutions...I want to challenge us to blow the roof off of what the world says is possible.  Have Great Expectations for yourself and those around you.  Jump off spiritual cliffs.  Take risks for God and make an eternal impact.  When God opens doors, walk through them with excitement and wonder...don't get tied to past choices, regrets, sadness, and fear...because God sees you as His beautiful creation...and He has great expectations for YOU.

My Dirty Vacuum.

Merry Christmas!  You might expect me to talk about the birth of Christ today...but, I've always been a bit of a rebel that way.  And be honest...as much as you love Christmas songs, aren't you desperately hitting the "seek" button looking for something with a driving beat that doesn't have a Christmas theme?  I love Christmas.  I love that this is the day that God stuffed his Holiness into a weak human body to save my soul.  But, with that disclaimer, I will move on to the topic consuming my heart today.  It is my dirt...my wretched and awful dirt!  You see, I have been on this wonderful journey of faith for several years now.  When God rescued me, he found me swimming in my selfishness.  From my viewpoint, I was on a yacht in the middle of the Mediterranean.  I was dining on the finest of foods and my heart was content.  I lived for me...no one else!  But, when God revealed his perfect love for me through his son, I saw a different view.  I realized that in light of God's holiness and sacrifice, I was, instead, floating on a dinghy, out in the middle of the shark infested waters.  I was eating rotten food, and my heart was empty.  But, just because I've been rescued from my perverse view of myself, doesn't mean that I don't still struggle.  I learned a very important lesson from my vacuum cleaner the other day.  Yes, there truly are lessons everywhere!  Hubby had cleaned out the vacuum, but he put it back together wet.  Wet vacuum pieces start to develop a very ripe smell.  Not knowing this was the case, I got out the vacuum and started to clean the floors.  You can imagine the terrible smell that emanated from my vacuum.  I was trying to clean the floors, but instead, I was filling the air with a wretched smell.  I thought about this device...how its only purpose is to clean.  And I thought about how something dirty inside a clean vessel can actually make things worse.  After all, my floors had some lint on them before, but now my floors were lint free and my house smelled like moldy, poopy, stinky feet. 
For the past two days I have really struggled.  My attitude has not been very good.  I've been stressed out with my kids, I've been crabby to my husband, and I've called off the adoption process twice.  Yeah, I've been a real treat!  This is not who I am in Christ.  I do not have this flimsy spirit.  I do not vacillate when it comes to God's will and His calling.  He has changed me!  And I need to reflect that.  So, my only response, is to fall on my face (literally) and ask the God of mercy and grace to pick me up.  I cry out these words from the Psalms:
Create in me a clean heart, O God.
 Renew a loyal spirit within me.
Psalm 51:10
God, my selfishness and sin are like the moldy pieces of the vacuum.  They have no place inside a heart that belongs to you.  Please clean my heart and renew the loyal spirit within me!  May your Holy Spirit remove the offensiveness in me so I don't spread it to the world around me!  In the name of your perfect and Holy son, Jesus...Amen!

The quest for something familiar...

Our Chinese house guest (Fan) is wonderful.  He is very sweet and polite.  He keeps offering to carry things for me and I actually threatened to not return him to College after the new year.  We love having him here and it has been wonderful to hear the boys asking so many questions.  Hubby and I have always felt like the mark of a great communicator is someone that asks questions.  We hope this is a great opportunity for our kids to learn from someone with a different background than them.  And...in a small way, it would seem that it is paving the way for their new sister.  Today, D-Dog said, "Mom, my new sister is Chinese like Fan."  "Yes."  I said.  "She will grow up and be a Chinese mommy." he said.  So cute to see him put things together. 
We decided to strike out toward the city today and look for an International store where we could buy some familiar food items for Fan.  We left here with map in hand and made our first stop...where else...McDonald's.  I admitted to Fan that I had a diet coke obsession.  While we were driving there, I asked Fan if he liked McDonald's.  "We don't really have so many McDonald's in China.  We have KFC everywhere."  "Oh Fan...have you ever had a cheeseburger from McDonald's?"  He replied that he had not.  So, I felt like it was my American duty to buy Fan his first Cheeseburger in the US.  He thought it was "ok".  LOL.  He tried a french fry and said they were very weird for him.  And he hates pickles.  I showed him how we just pick off and toss what we don't want...great, huh?  We had a really funny exchange while we were going through drive-thru.  Fan has only been here since October.  And apparently, he had no idea that drive-thru was possible.  As we approached, he pointed to the "order box" and asked, "What is that machine?"  I explained to him that I asked for my food there...and drove up to pay...and drove up to pick up the food.  "You don't have drive-thru in China?"  "NO."  He was mystified and asked why we do it like that.  "Well, Fan...we are Americans.  We like our food fast and we don't want to have to walk to get it."  So...ummmm...I guess that's why so many of us are fat and lazy.  YIKES.  I've gone through drive-thru my entire life and I've NEVER thought of it like that.  Talk about convicting.  Am I like that in all areas of my life?  I want things, but I don't want to work or wait for them.  Have I become spiritually lazy as a result?  I have so much praying to do about that.  I don't want to be a drive-thru Christian!!!!!  That just sounds sad.
So, the end of the story, is that we did, in fact, make it to the International store.  I ended up going ALL the way over to 270 on Gravois to get to another food store and didn't realize that Gravois is the same length as the State of California.  So, by the time we made it to 270,  Fan revealed to me that he gets carsick very easily and was, in fact, feeling ill.  We rushed home, with the help of my brother who led me back a much faster way.  I love you, Jeff!!!  And Fan went up to take a rest (no doubt praying that he can kindly find a way to refuse any other field trip offers from me).  :)

Leaving behind the comfort zone...

Okay, first of all, I have to talk about the adoption.  We are SOOO excited that things are moving along.  We've been approved and reference letters have been requested.  I'm eagerly expecting a packet in the mail today that will get us started on our paper chase.  And...I'm also eagerly awaiting the email that confirms that we are, in fact, approved for the Country we've chosen as well as receiving access to our online book of everything.  :)  I am trying to keep the perspective that instead of a day of waiting...it is moving one day closer to our child.  If you believe in prayer, please pray with us for her.  There is a high probability that she has already been born and I can't stop thinking about her and praying for her...as well as our other kiddos.
Okay, so our newest adventure involves a kid from China as well.  But, this one is a boy and he is in College.  LOL.  We were asked to host a College student from the school Hubby and I met at during the Christmas holiday.  The College closes down and the students must leave.  One student was in need of a host home and they asked us.  I have to admit that I am a little nervous.  We pick him up tomorrow and we don't return him to the college until after the New Year.  My mind immediately went to all of our Christmas traditions and tried to insert a College Freshman from China with very few English skills and I had a hard time picturing it.  It will be different.  My immediate thought was...can't someone else do it?  But, this is where I am so thankful to have God in my heart and the Holy Spirit that guides.  Of course someone else could do it.  They could scramble together and try to find families that would be willing to split the time, or add him to a home that is already taking in a student.  But.......I felt so humbled and realized that I don't want to be the one declaring that the Inn is full and there is no room in my house or heart.  This is a great opportunity to serve someone this Christmas.  What a great chance to take the focus off of me and spend the time investing in someone that has no "home" here.  Moments like these are where the rubber meets the road for me.  Am I really who I say I am?  Am I a follower of Christ?  Would I do whatever He asked of me?  Our family is heading out on a great adventure over the next year.  How can I say I have room for a child in a year, but not a slightly older (lol) child right now.  I'm sure it will have its awkward moments.  I'm sure it will be a different kind of Christmas.  But, I know God will be in it.  I don't believe this student is a Christian, so this will be a cool opportunity for us to share God's love with him.  I have so much to learn.  I know there are many days that I don't get it right.  But I am so thankful for the perspective that the Holy Spirit gives me, and for the honor of being asked to serve.  So, is anyone else ready to jump out of their comfort zone this Christmas?  Do something crazy with me...or just come over at some point and spend some time meeting our newest friend.  I'll bake cookies.  :)  That should sweeten the deal.  And don't forget to spend some time thanking God for the great things in your life.  Your blessings might have come from someone else leaving their comfort zone to serve you!!

The Perfect Gift!

Who is sick of advertisements?  I saw a car commercial last night that used the phrase, "The season of reason", no doubt twisting the phrase, "Jesus is the reason for the season."  According to them, my "reason" should persuade me to buy their new car this Christmas.  I'm not going to say I'm immune to the call of the mall.  I struggle every time I walk through a store.  I always feel like I should buy one more teeny tiny gift for everyone.  After all, everyone worries about how their gift will be received.  There is so much riding on it.  In our culture, Christmas has become some sort of opportunity to even things out.  "Hey, dad...sorry I haven't called you at all in the last six months...but here..I got you a flat screen."  Hey honey, sorry I haven't met your emotional needs for the entire year, but here is a new car!"  "Kids, I know I yelled at you like I was coaching a hockey game for the whole year, but here is everything you've ever wished for under the tree."  Is that our real motivation?  To cover over the sins of the previous year?  Or, are we just too weak to stand up to the pressure of advertising.  Nobody wants their child to have only (gasp) one nice toy under the tree.  What does that even communicate?
Instead, I would love to pull you and I, for just a moment, into a dirty stable.  Let's turn off the call of consumerism.  Let's put away our credit cards and stand in silence.  The night is cool, the air is brisk.  It smells like hay and animal waste.  But, there, in the middle of a stable is the most beautiful love note ever written to us.  It is our gift.  The perfect gift.  It is the sacrifice from a Father... it is our freedom... it is our completely undeserved mercy.  And it is wrapped in blankets.  He is a baby King.  He will grow up and face challenges, He will cling to God with every fiber of His being.  He will live a sinless life and He will gather our wretched sins, take them to a cross, and hold them all the way to Hell.  He will pay the price for our freedom. But for now...He is a baby.  He is a new gift...a promise of what is to come.  He is the price a Father is willing to pay for the perfect gift.  And this could most definitely NOT be called "The season of reason."  There is no rational explanation why the creator of the universe would give such a personal gift to us.  But, love is irrational.  It doesn't follow a formula.  In my mind, holding my child with a fever, and shaking his chocolate milk 'just' the right amount... is love.  Choosing to encourage my husband when life is stressful and difficult... is love.  Skipping Christmas shopping to spend time with a friend that is grieving the loss of a loved one...that is love...that is a real gift.  Skipping presents to bring a fatherless child home...that is what matters.
I have revamped my entire attitude toward Christmas this year.  I have cut out many wonderful traditions simply because they don't benefit anyone but me.  We'll see on Christmas morning how excited my own kids are at this new approach to Christmas.  :)  My prayer is that they will be able to pull away from themselves and see that the perfect gift has already been given.  I can't top the one God gave to me.  I do believe, that I can honor that gift at Christmas by simply sharing the love that He has for me, with others.  And I want to encourage you to do the same.  It is not my intention to make you feel guilty for buying things.  Giving gifts with a loving heart is wonderful.  I just think it is important to take some time and refocus on the one and only gift that has already been given and ask you to stand somewhere between the manger and the cross when you contemplate this Season.  May you all have a very Merry Christmas and a Blessed start to the New Year.

The Football Banquet

Last night, Noodle and I had the opportunity to go to the football banquet to celebrate a fantastic year of football.  We are so impressed with the Titans program.  Noodle was born to play football.  He loves it.  And this opportunity to play with dedicated, talented coaches was a true blessing.  There were so many nights that I would take him to practice and marvel at the commitment of the coaches.  They were there every practice...in rain...wind...heat...and cold.  So, last night was an opportunity to celebrate the completion of the season, mingle with friends, eat some delicious food and collect the trophy and pictures.
Now, lets be honest parents...when you go to something like this, you are looking forward to two things.  You are excited about the people and of course, the food.  But, this banquet didn't go as I had expected.  We arrived at 6:30.  We were told that they would go through some of the teams, we would eat, and they would finish handing out trophies.  So, you can imagine our mystified faces, when the food came out at 7:30, and we didn't eat it until 8:30.  It was pure torture.  A certain man (who will remain nameless on here) spoke FOREVER!  And when the crowd wasn't quiet enough to hear him speaking, he would stop speaking altogether, a la second grade teacher.  He would wait for silence and continue.  At first it was funny.  Is this really happening?  Then it became downright annoying.  I mean, talk about torture!  You have a room full of adults and (hello) hungry football players.  We could see the food, we could smell the food, and we were getting completely impatient for the food.  I wanted to scream, enough already, WE WANT TO EAT!
Interestingly, my physical needs made me reflect on my spiritual ones.  I truly believe that God wants us to have that same impatience and drive for being in eternity with Him.  Our hearts should be so hungry for Him that we don't even want the fluff that comes before the feast.  The two hours of "talk" should be a reflection of my life here on Earth.  Important, but not the best part of the event.  There are so many times when I long for Christ.  I get bored, impatient, and lonely with this life.  When I read the Bible, my senses are triggered and heightened.  I can almost smell eternity.  I can almost taste the joy of being with Him.  That is the urgency that I want to live with.  We have a hunger that only he can satisfy.  This world is full of emptiness.  Even the best moments here are but a glimpse of what it will be like to be with Jesus. (Thanks Pastor, for your teaching on Heaven at Metro)  I read this scripture this morning and it was so comforting to me.  It is almost like the feeling you get when you are at a great party, but you remember that you have an even better party the next day.  It is that sense of expectation.  So, as you read these words from Jesus in the book of John, try to capture that same sense of expectation and hunger.  Jesus is preparing a place for us and we will be with him.  I don't know about you, but that gives me hope for whatever I face here on Earth.
John 14:1-3 (NLT)
Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.  There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.
Now, THAT is a banquet worth waiting for!!!!!

Hubby (and no turning back!)

Today is my husband's birthday.  There are no words to adequately express how much I love and admire him.  When I see our boys chasing each other, climbing trees, catching frogs, and filled with uncontainable laughter, I think of what he must have been like as a boy.  He is adventurous.  He loves climbing mountains, and he can't sit still.  Busy, busy, busy...but so content with life.  I often think about the night he asked me to marry him.  I knew I loved him madly... and seriously, people...have you seen him?  He's gorgeous!  But, the "fairy tale" to come was one that would be written so differently than what I'd imagined.  When I said yes, and he put the ring on my finger.  I felt excitement.  But, I also felt scared.  Have I mentioned that Hubby is adventurous?  This country girl that spent her entire life in the same town, was getting married to a man that had traveled the world, and was hungry for more.  But, I must have known, even then, that God would use this to change me in ways that I couldn't comprehend at the time.  You see, Hubby had been very open about his desire to move overseas and teach for a couple of years.  My dream of the big house and the picket fence crashed into his dream of a small flat in a crowded city after only a year of marriage.  That experience completely rocked my world and changed me in amazing ways.  I love my husband for that.  I love him for asking me to go, for holding my hand while I cried through roughly the first six months of homesickness, and for being my best friend through the five moves and four kids since then.  My husband is not content to live an ordinary life.  He loves God and he reaches out for God's hand even when he's standing on the edge of the mountain.  He would rather risk his reputation than risk being disobedient to God.  He is a terrific husband and a strong, loving dad to our children.  I have known him for 15 years.  He has been my husband for almost 14 of them.  We have had our great times and our definitely not-so-great times.  But I am secure in knowing that no matter what we experience, we'll do it together...holding onto each other tightly.  The day I said, "YES!" to his marriage proposal, I knew there was no turning back.  Even though the future was uncertain.  I was all in!  Today, we submitted the formal application for adoption.  We are in it financially, and there is no turning back.  Standing here, the future is uncertain.  What will the next year of our life look like?  Who is this new child we will be bringing into our family?  But, with God standing with us, we are all in!  And I am looking forward to the journey with this amazing man that God has blessed me with.  Happy Birthday Hubby!  And thanks for asking me to come with you on the adventures of your life.

"Don't you have enough Children?"

As we navigate the adoption process, it is funny for me to see the way people react to our decision (and calling, if you will).  I know that the person who made the comment mentioned in the title of this post didn't mean to hurt me.  In fact, she probably thought it was funny.  I am becoming more and more aware of the impact of my words.  And I know that I've also said some "funny" comments to people that hurt them.  But this question really made me reflect.  Yes.  By the world's standards, we do have enough children.  As I told my husband last night...we deviated from the norm when we went past two children.  It seems that our culture is so twisted that we really do judge people with large families.  Hello, Duggars!  We feel like it is unfair for children to have to share time, attention, possessions, bedrooms, etc...  Before I go any farther... I must put a disclaimer up.  I don't think every family in the world should have a million kids.  If we were all running around having babies, and adopting them, who would run the Country...oh, wait...that's another topic, for another day!  I believe God put in each of us a set of talents and abilities.  He created us for a purpose.   I have friends in the medical field that were called to dedicate their lives to that position so they could save lives.  I have friends that are wonderful leaders.  I believe God put them in that position to influence the world with integrity.  Some are musically gifted, and they move the heart with lyrics and melody.  I have friends that put their safety on the line daily so my family can enjoy our safety.  I believe that God has created us to be such a diverse crowd so we could serve Him in many ways.  Think of the people you know and the gifts and abilities that God has given them.  Whether they know it or not, they are living out their purpose.  And I would challenge you.  Are you living out your life with excitement?  With fervor?  With courage?  Do you look for opportunities to serve, and love and make an eternal impact?  The following is one of my favorite scriptures.  It is a challenge for me to swim against the current of pop-culture.  It is what keeps me from going into debt to buy the latest and greatest techno gadgets.  It is what keeps my furniture looking humble...and don't even get me started on our ghetto looking fridge that works better than any fridge we've ever used.  It is found in Matthew 6:19-21:
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Have you ever read such convicting words?  
I believe that God put me here to love and nurture.  I may not do it perfectly every day, but I know that is my purpose.  So, if i am living out my purpose and trying to raise children that know Him and follow Him as well as love others...how many children is enough?  After all, the only thing we can take to Heaven are people.  We are going out on a limb and bringing another child into our family to love.  We are trusting in God who has more resources than we can imagine to bless our family of seven.  :)  I get chills typing that.  My challenge to you is to do the same.  No, you don't have to have more kids.  :)  But, whatever you do with your life, go out on a limb and trust God.  He will not fail you.  And when you do that, and you are excited and terrified at the same time, please tell me about it.  I love hearing stories about God's amazing work in His people!!!

Beloved

Read this scripture first: 1 John 3:1-2
 ¹See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him.  ²Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is.

Okay, so I heard this awesome sermon yesterday on BOTT radio.  We all know by now that I am a serious talk radio freak...But, this one hit me right where I needed it, so I wanted to share it with you.  The pastor sharing this message referenced how he loves many people.  But, his deepest love is reserved for his wife only.  He went on to explain that God loves the world.  In John 3:16, we can read that God loved the world so much that he sent his son to die.  That is a pretty deep love.  BUT........ he holds an even different kind of love for his followers.  He has an even deeper love for his "beloved".  I am His beloved.  He knows that I am His.  He doesn't have to win me over.  I am holding my hands open and raised giving Him my life...my will...my everything.  I am His beloved.  I am His child.  I don't know about you...but that definitely gives me some perspective.  To me, that means that God is dwelling so close to me, that He is in control of every aspect of my life and that I can trust Him.  God knows that I am trying to live in obedience.  He knows that our hearts are open to His will for us.  I don't have to worry about disappointing Him.  I am His Beloved.

When Hubby and I fight (yes, hard to believe!  haha) I have a go-to move.  I run away.  I have been known to hide in the bathroom, go take a walk etc... Over the years, it has gotten much better.  But Hubby is a wonderful husband.  He doesn't let the space remain.  He lovingly works it out with me...he doesn't let me run.  We made a commitment to each other almost fourteen years ago that no matter what, we would never quit.  With God's help, we are keeping that commitment. I think this is a great example of God's view of me as His Beloved.  When I hit a stress wall and I'm tempted to turn away from God, He lovingly calls me back by reminding me of His love for me and He works in my heart to soften it.  Several years ago, I made a commitment to Christ that He would be Lord of my life and that I would never go back to my old sinful life.  With God's help, I am keeping that commitment.  This is such a work in progress.  But, knowing that God doesn't just love me, I am His BELOVED, makes me see things in a different light.  Now, I just need to be patient while God shares His plans with His beloved child.

Confused!

The only thing I know is that I don't know anything at all!  This post will sound completely cryptic because there are many details of the story I cannot include.  But, we were in a situation yesterday that could have resulted in our family growing by two more members.  There are so many details to the story that would clarify why we didn't do it.  But, now I struggle with the decision.  Why would something that seemed so wrong for us fall into our laps?  Are we putting God in a box?  So today I am left with more questions than answers.  Today, my heart is filled with fear that I have entered the realm of disobedience.  I don't want to abide there.  I want to live full out crazy for Christ.  But, when I'm reading the Bible, or reading a book, it seems like such an easy concept.  The reality is so much messier.  Maybe this is another lesson on the journey God has us on.  Perhaps this opportunity wasn't the one for us because we still have more growing to do.  Maybe we aren't really ready yet to live out what God has planned and He needs to change us.  Whatever the case, I am left spinning a little bit.  I've always been a person that needs things spelled out for her.  If someone gives me instructions, I will often repeat the instructions back just because I don't want to mess things up.  I'm sure that even though God knows this about me, He is trying to change that in me.  I ask too many questions.  I keep my own interests close to my heart...after all, they are important too.  My prayer today is that God will continue to be close to me...that He will trust me with His glorious Will, that He will keep the enemy from filling my mind with the four worst letters I could be stamped with: FAIL.  Please pray with me for this!  I am clinging to these words right now!
 Jeremiah 29:11-14a
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you,” declares the LORD."
Thank you, blog friends.

Snacks

When the clock strikes 4:00pm, a magical thing happens.  My sweet adorable children become pillagers and plunderers of the pantry.  Call it the case of the after-school munchies.  They are ready to eat everything in sight.  But, what always amazes me are the choices they make (which I often veto!).  We are a mere hour or two from a fantastic balanced meal and they want junk food.  Cookies, cakes, candy, crackers, chips...they can't get enough of the "C" food group.  Yesterday, I looked at my nine year old and saw that he was holding his snack choice of an oatmeal cream pie and a sucker.  Seriously???  His eyes looked like those spinning eyes in the cartoons, no lie.  He was ready to feast on...well...sugar.  I asked him to please put them back and choose something that resembled an apple next time.  But the whining ensued.  So, you can guess what happened next.  I sat him down and read a lovely tale about the food pyramid.  NO.  I used my stern mom voice and sent him to his room without a snack.
This really made me ponder several things.  First, I should take some of the blame here.  If I didn't have junk food for them to grab onto after school, we wouldn't have this issue.  So, today, I am purging the pantry of all sugar (and I'll hide my M&Ms better). Because we are all, in fact, human.  When faced with a choice between a banana and a candy bar, the candy bar will always win.  I can help them by giving them better snack choices.  But, this also made me (as usual) reflect on my spiritual appetite.  I have always been a snacker.  I'll take a little bit of God (the healthy choice)  But I really love having the world too (the junk food).  And sometimes I settle for junk food right before God is ready to bless me with a feast.  I wonder how exasperating it is for God to see me settle for the things that aren't good for me, when He is cooking up an amazing plan that will glorify Him.  Perhaps I should take a lesson from my pantry purging and purge my life of some of the snacks.  What are the snacks in my life?  Hmmmm, facebook?  :)  people pleasing, shopping, mindless tv, food.  But, what if I filled my life with God's rich and satisfying food.  Would it fill me up so much that I wouldn't desire the junk food anymore?  That is my desire.  I want to be so filled with the things of God that I don't want anything else.  I don't want to care if people think I'm strange for coloring outside the lines of life and chasing after Christ.  Jesus didn't eat junk food.  Yes, pretty sure that is in the Bible somewhere...  He feasted on His Father's words constantly.  That is how He was able to stay in God's will consistently.  So, I'm going to make it my quest to purge the junk from my life and look only to God for the real nourishment.  Because, when I read these words from Psalm 63 out loud, I want to mean them with everything that is in me:
"O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.  I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory.  Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.  I will praise you as long as I live and in your name I will lift up my hands.  My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you.".
What junk food are you ready to eliminate from your diet?