Unhinged!

Yes!  last night I lost it!  Unhinged doesn't even cover it!  I'm pretty sure I started yelling about socks littering the floor, pee all over the bathroom, book bags and lunch boxes strangling the life out of my very bones.

Oh, who was I yelling at?  Anyone that would listen.  Which left me and my tirade alone in the kitchen.  All the smart people jumped ship and ran to their rooms.  Except my poor husband.  He grabbed the mop bucket in a brave attempt to end my one act play.  Way to take one for the team, honey!

Have you ever had the feeling that you KNEW you were acting crazy and that you'd regret it in four minutes...but you kept going anyway?  Yeah...that was me!

Of course, I knew why I was acting crazy!  It was carefully explained to me a few hours earlier.  Chaos...Noise...

My life is full of it.

Some of it should be kept and some of it should exit the building.  (I know what you're thinking....and the kids get to stay!)

But, I have to say...when I shamefully descended from my soapbox, there were words of truth running through my head.

Matthew 11:28-30

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Those were the words Jesus offered.

And last night, they were my lifeline.  

I am weary.  I am tired.  I need rest.

Do you need rest?  

I want to invite you to be my guest this morning.  I'll even serenade you with a lovely song when you get there.  Well, rock and roll song is first...slow refreshing song is last. ;)

Come and find out the key to real REST!  

Metro Community Church
9am and 10:45am today
www.metrocommunitychurch.com

I can't wait to see you.  And if you have a surefire solution to bathrooms that smell like the urinal at Busch Stadium, PLEASE, people...stop holding out on me!!!!!

Love and all that stuff,

jill

How can you bring a child into this crazy world?

This was the question I heard multiple times immediately after the September 11th attacks.  Interestingly, I was also seven months pregnant at the time.  I understood the question, but I couldn't help but think, "ummm, give birth.  Cause this beast isn't staying in here forever!".

We all have our own memories of that day.  But, most of them are grounded in fear and sadness.  Too many innocent people died.  Too many lives were changed.  And none of us knew what was coming down the pike.

To be honest, I WAS afraid of bringing another child into a world where planes fly into buildings.  I mean, isn't it bad enough that I have to worry about cancer, and car accidents, and fires, and child molesters.  Now I have to worry about terrorists?????

It is easy to lose perspective.

And what about the lives that were shattered like fragile glass?  How do you pick up the pieces and move forward when you lose a loved one?  I wouldn't even dream of speaking about the path that many people were forced to travel on that day twelve years ago.

But I will speak to the original question.  How can I bring a child into this crazy world?  The past twelve years have provided me with the answer to that.  I eventually gave birth (amidst the fear and subsequent War that followed) to a healthy 9 lb, 9 oz baby boy.  He is a gentle giant.  He has eyes that light up a room, a smile that would melt the ice caps, and a heart that is unmatched.  He is smart, calm, athletic, and loving.

A couple of years ago, two of the boys were playing in the backyard when they were stung by wasps.  My gentle giant came running in to tell me what happened, and while I was screaming and spinning in circles...trying to remember the phone number for 911, I looked over and saw my sweet N!  He was on the couch with his head down and his hands tightly folded...praying!

I have seen him give up his favorite blanket to a brother whose own blankie didn't survive the tornado.  I've seen him fight for the underdog, stand up for what's right and most recently, walk a single mama and her babies out to the car in the rain after church.  There are no words for what I felt in my heart as I saw this now 5'4" young man hold the umbrella carefully over four precious lives.

The answer is:  THIS child adds beauty.  He adds beauty to a fallen and sinful and crazy world.  He makes it a better place.

I am fortunate to know so many more children just like him.  Four others live in my home.  They show me joy, they show me purpose, and they show me what true love looks like.

beauty in a crazy world...

Jesus, love, and same sex marriage? Oh my!

While driving home from a trip a couple of weeks ago, I heard a great lesson from our pastor.  He was talking about how Jesus is "friend of sinners", and how we need to get "out of the salt shaker, and onto the meat." 

 The non-food translation is this: 

 Jesus has some expectations of us.  

If our lives have been changed, and we know it...we are supposed to share that love with the world.  We could easily stay in our safe little bubble and block MTV (what??? OK!  We can't afford cable.  Our kids eat too much food!)  Or, keep our kids from "those WORLDLY people." And only attend church functions with church people with church smiles, and church clothes.  Except...Jesus had a word for those people and it wasn't "homies."  It was Pharisees.  The problem with excluding yourself from the world is that you might start forgetting that you were the "world" too.  Judging others might get a little more comfortable.  And your heart might stop beating for people with broken hearts and empty places...and beat instead for  your own glory.

So, as soon as the teaching was over, I shut down the Metro App (No, i didn't get paid for that plug) and I opened up my messages.  I sent a text to our pastor's wife.  

"I was listening to Paul's message, and the thought hit me...if Jesus is friend of sinners, and I'm supposed to be salt to a decaying world...Would Jesus go to a gay wedding?" I simply asked.

Her response:  "You are the most random person I know!  That's why I love you.  But, Paul is sitting right here.  I asked him your question and he said...."

I know!  Right?  WHAT DID HE SAY?  Well, I'm sure if you ask him, he will give you the same answer he gave me.  But, since I didn't ask his permission to share...I'm conflicted on whether or not I should share it.  So I won't tell you what he said.  I will just say that he gave a one word response and it rhymes with "bless".

Let me stop you right there.  Before you start thinking we've all gone off the deep end and wondering how long it will be before my husband sees my blog and demands that I remove it and all the controversial content included...please hear this.

On Wednesday night, the church (that's the people, not the building) got together to collectively pray and remember what a sacrificial gift we were given through Jesus and the cross.  If you were there, you know that it was a very powerful night.  God was present.  And I had the best seat in the house.  I had the privilege of looking out at a sea of faces while we worshipped with complete abandon.  Do you know what I saw?  I saw beauty.  I saw a group of redeemed people.  I saw love, and acceptance, and love and grace.  I saw hands lifted in surrender, and praise, and gratefulness.  And did I mention LOVE?

I couldn't hold back tears while singing the words, "Oh praise the ONE who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead."

I was DEAD!  And now I'm beautifully alive.  All of the dark and broken parts of me found purpose when Jesus became my life.  I see things in a whole new way.  I don't see a same sex marriage debate.  I see people...that are completely loved by God.  I see that I have no room to stand in judgement because I was once the convicted.  When you remember your place in the courtroom, it humbles you.  And your heart starts to open up to the possibility that maybe...just maybe...you don't have to KNOW everything.  And that the only thing that is required of you is...love.  "Love your neighbor as yourself...unless they struggle with something that isn't Biblical."  NO.  It simply says "love your neighbor as yourself". (Matthew 22:36-40)

I feel a little silly now that I asked Paul that question.  Of course Jesus would go to a same sex wedding.  He would go because it would be an opportunity to shine light into darkness and share the love God has for His people.  He would go there in the same way he met a woman at the well, and kept adulterers from being stoned, and ate dinner with tax collectors, and on and on.

The better question is this:  Would someone in a same sex relationship come to my church.  Would they feel loved?  I sure hope the answer to that question is yes.  Because if its not yes, then you might not find Jesus there either.

Food for thought...