Blah, Poop, Crap...will I ever grow up?

Okay, so I'm a hot mess.  Well, maybe I'm not hot...just a mess. :)  I feel like my emotions are all over the place lately.  Does anyone have a Sam's sized bottle of Midol anywhere?  Yesterday was WONDERFUL.  We had a blast celebrating B's birthday.  We went to McDonald's playland for lunch and daddy met us there.  And as soon as Hubby was off work, we went bowling.  My abs hurt today from that experience.  Daddy was uber competitive against his wife that can't bowl to save her life and four kids playing with bumpers.  It was a riot!  But, after all the kids were in bed, my mind became filled with discontentment.  I was consumed by the people in B's life that didn't even remember it was his birthday.  I was crabby that our social worker is super busy right now.   I got really frustrated with the sssssllllllllllloooooooooooooowwwwwwww pace of this insane adoption.  And then I read that my friend (also adopting from China) got her immigration approval.  I was simultaneously happy for her and sad for me.  That should have been us.  Why isn't that us?  I can't even get my homestudy completed.  But then I went on facebook and saw something that stopped me in my tracks.  There is a sweet mommy out there that just gave birth to her first child.  She is currently sitting in a hospital listening to doctors tell her that her newborn baby doesn't have brain activity and that he probably won't make it.  They had an emergency birth and a cord issue.  My heart is heavy for her.  My heart breaks for her.  I can't imagine the fear and pain she is feeling.  I'm sorry, God, for complaining.  I'm sorry for my discontent.  I'm sorry that it is taking me a thousand tries to get it right.  Thank you that I got to celebrate my child's birthday.  Thank you that the timing of adoption is obviously in your hands.  And thank you for loving me enough to stop my spiral of self-pity with a healthy dose of reality.  Maybe today I'll get it right.  But if I don't...I know you have enough grace to get me to tomorrow...where I'll try again.