"Won't you be...my neighbor"

                                           The youngest boys' room

                                                           Our room

                                                        The older boys' room

I have sweet memories of Mr. Rogers singing that song on PBS when I was a child.  Today, it has real meaning for me.These words are found in Mark 12: 30-31
" Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

February 27, was a great day.  We had been to church that morning and had amazing worship and teaching.  Our lesson that day was on honoring God with everything we have, because it all belongs to Him anyway.  All we have is His.  The afternoon was filled with family time.  We played with the kids, worked on getting the house ready for our adoption inspection, Hubby and I went on a walk together, holding hands and sharing our excitement over God's plan for the adoption and our family.  We did devotions together, prayed and watched "The Amazing Race" as a family.  We put the kids to bed together...it was chaos as usual.  They were all wired and running around.  Hubby and I knew we needed to finish up some work in the basement and we were tired.  We wanted to get to bed shortly after the kids.  B had been sick the night before, so he was really nervous about being away from us.  He didn't want to sleep on his top bunk.  He wanted to sleep in our room.  But, we bartered with him and allowed him to sleep on his mattress on the floor of his bedroom next to D-Dog.  Then, if he got sick or scared, he could book it into our room without having to climb down a ladder.  We got them settled in, finished up our work and checked the weather.  Slight risk of storms...maybe pea sized hail.  Okay, we thought...doesn't sound too serious.  We went up to bed.  The night was warm, so we left our bedroom window open.  Hubby and I talked about the upcoming week and we slipped off to sleep.  It was 10:30.  
At around 11:45, Hubby bolted out of bed and it woke me up.  He started screaming, "get the kids." I jumped up and grabbed my glasses off the table beside me.  I could hear the wind beating our house.  As cliche as it sounds, it was like the steady deafening roar of train cars.  I think I screamed, "is this real?" as I ran out of the room toward the youngest boys' room.  Hubby ran down the hall to get our older two boys from their room.  The only mission in my mind, was to get my family to the basement.  My brain was on hyper sensitivity.  I remember EVERY detail so clearly.  I could hear the beating of the wind getting louder and my house was starting to shake.  I knew in my heart that we would not make it in time.  I bent down and grabbed my youngest children.  One in each arm.  I turned and stood to run out of the room and toward the stairs, but I don't think I made it two steps.  In only a second, I felt myself (and my babies) leave the ground and then slam back into it.  I would find out later, that the F2 tornado ripped my roof off, as well as a side of the garage.  The ceiling separated and slammed down on my head breaking into pieces.  Part of our ceiling flew out of the room with the roof, and part of it stayed on the kids and I.  As the tornado passed, I was on the ground, sucking in drywall and insulation and screaming at my babies to hide their faces as I gripped them with everything in me.  The broken drywall had formed a teepee above my face and it was flapping violently in front of my face.  I could tell it was open above me because it was raining on my face.  I remember thinking that the odds of all six of us making it out alive were not good.  I became convinced that I would probably die.  I knew I was hurt.  I didn't know how bad.  But, in that moment, I remember thinking, "Does everyone get this moment before they die?"  Where they are aware that it is coming and they feel peace?  I was overcome with an amazing peace and I think I even said out loud, "my soul is ready...my soul is okay."  But, God was not ready to take any of us yet.  After the tornado passed, B slipped out of my arms and tried to get away.  I screamed at him to stay with me.  I was convinced that another tornado was coming.  I couldn't figure out how to get out of the room.  Drywall was blocking the door.  But, Toby the amazing ( I knew we adopted him for a reason) squeezed through a space on the floor to come into the room and we realized we could squeeze out there toward the hallway.  I pushed the kids through, B got scraped.  As I was leaning over, I thought rain was falling heavily on my face.  But when I wiped it away, I saw that I was covered in my own blood.  I screamed for my husband.  I thought he was dead.  But after a moment, he screamed back, "WE ARE ALL ALIVE.  ARE YOU OKAY?"  I yelled that we were alive, but I was hurt.  I felt like vomiting and fainting.  We made it to the basement and I was vomiting and bleeding.  My husband cut the power and tried to cut the gas.  He had narrowly escaped from his own experience (which is His story to tell) and he was thinking of us.  We made it outside.  We had to duck out of our garage.  It was destroyed and our cars were stuck.  My neighbor came out at the same time we did.  Her house was untouched.  Her family was safe.  She took my traumatized children and our dog and gave us her keys.  Hubby took me to the hospital.  The whole way there is a blur to me.  I don't know if I stayed conscious during that time.  But, they cleaned me up to assess my injuries.  Amazingly, after scans and x-rays, it was determined that I had contusions, a massive concussion, and a 9cm laceration to my head.  But no other injuries.  The rest is a serious blur of pain, Demerol, doctors, nurses, my husbands tears, and exhaustion.  
Since the tornado, we have been overwhelmed.  We knew we loved a lot of people.  We didn't know how many of them loved us back.  So many family, friends and neighbors have met needs we didn't see coming.  We've been covered in prayer, phone calls, concern, love, gifts, money, food, hugs, comfort, and more. Our hearts are amazed at the way God has made Himself real to us through this.  He held us in those rooms while the tornado tried to take our security.  He holds us through the arms of our family and friends, while the enemy whispers, "Why you?"  "Why was yours the only house hit?"  And He covers us with light and peace during the nightmares in the dark.  We understand the command Jesus gave to "love your neighbor as yourself."  We have been the blessed recipients of this great love.  Sometimes I struggle with the fact that we don't deserve this level of love from everyone in our community.  Someone said to me, "everyone wants to help because you are such good people."  I think people are helping because THEY are good people.  And God is using them to heal our hearts.  I was walking in my backyard the other day looking for any small treasure we may have missed in clean-up.  The man that now has my roof in his yard asked me, "Don't you think it is strange that your house was the only one destroyed?  What do you think that means?"  Yeah...I know...his sensitivity overwhelmed me too!  Yes.  It is difficult not to take that one personally.  Especially when you feel like you are living in obedience to God and then in a few seconds, your life is altered, and your security is shattered.  My response to this man was simply, "Maybe our home got hit because God knew that we would still be faithful."  Isn't that what it really comes down to?  Will we still be faithful?  He is walking with us regardless.  Do we trust him in the middle of the storm?  Or only in the sunshine?  This is not fun.  My new Harry Potter look is not sexy.  Six people living in a hotel is not easy.  Giving up "normal" is not my first choice.  But, as God continues to hold us and love us, my resolve is strong.  I may have very rough days ahead, but I am blessed with the lives of my husband and children.  We are closer than ever before.  The adoption will happen, we just have to trust the timing.  Our family and friends have proven themselves to be of greater value than gold.  And I have my faith.  I have Christ.  I leave you with the lyrics to my favorite song of the moment.  Please read them and be encouraged.  God is Good!  He is faithful!  He will provide for our every need!  Thank you, dear friends and family.  You will probably never know how much you mean to me.  My prayers at night are of thanksgiving for all of you and your very generous hearts.

"Carry Me" - Audrey Assad

Pain is a forest we all get lost in
Between the branches hope can be so hard to see
And in the darkness we've all got questions
We're all just trying to make sense out of suffering but

You say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, You'll carry me
Help me believe it

Fear is a current we all get caught in
And in its motion faith can be so hard to find
And we all falter 'cause we're all broken
We're all just trying to turn the shadows into light but

You get glory in the midst of this
And You're walking with me
And you say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, You'll carry me

And I know Your promises are faithful
And God, I've seen Your goodness in my life
And oh, I've found Your mercy is a river
Your love is an ocean wide

You say I am blessed because of this
You get glory in the midst of this
And You're walking with me

And You say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, as I carry this cross

'Cause as I carry this cross, You'll carry me

You'll carry me, God
You'll carry me
And Your love is an ocean wide