All things new.

Isaiah 43:18-19 “Forget the former things;
   do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
   Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
   and streams in the wasteland.

I am sitting outside.  The sun is shining, the breeze is blowing and it is warm.  Today is healing.  It feels like a new day.  Have you ever noticed how possibilities seem endless on sunny warm days?  My son is climbing on the playground equipment in his spider man boots.  They are snow boots.  He has tennis shoes.  But he prefers these.  Secretly, I think he has a small attachment to them since he told me yesterday that after the tornado, daddy yelled, "GET YOUR SHOES!!" Referring to his snow boots, he said," I picked these."  I will never be privy to the way my children are processing this event.  I can see glimpses once in a while.  And I can make a thousand assumptions.  But, I may never really understand how this is shaping them.  This is probably the thing I struggle with the most.  I know that the house will be rebuilt and life will begin to feel more normal.  But, I worry about my children.  I am a proactive parent.  You give me a parenting issue, and I can tell you what book I've read and what knowledge I've gleaned. But, there is no book for this.  There is no manual.  For the first time since my oldest child was placed in my arms, I am at a complete loss as to what to do. 
There is something else you should know about me.  I am very good at painting pictures of Egypt.  I am very certain that if I had been among the Israelites, that I too, would have wandered in the desert talking about the "good ole days".  I've been stuck in a weird mode lately.  I've been careful not to cling to anything new.  Instead, I find myself glamorizing the old.  The moment I start fondly reminiscing about my old kitchen linoleum, please plan an intervention.  I don't want to look back.  I want to look forward with anticipation.  I want to expect great things.  So, this morning, when I was driving back from taking the kids to school, I had a great phrase run through my mind.  And I'm sure that God put it there.  "I make all things new."  I know there is scripture in Revelations referring to that.  But, I found this beautiful scripture from Isaiah that spoke to where I need to be.  I have seen beautiful things rise out of destruction.  We've learned how truly loving our family and friends are.
I don't really know how I feel about the adoption right now. This really put the brakes on my enthusiasm.  To be completely honest, it would be easy to walk away right now.  We are financially invested.  We are emotionally invested.  But, the injured part of me wants to touch bitterness...maybe even hold it. 
Last night, I started reading a Diego book to my youngest two kids.  The older two wandered in and sat on the floor next to us.  After reading, we spent some time talking.  They shared things that were difficult to hear...mostly because it affirms that they are hurting.  But, before bed, we went around the room and did our popcorn prayers.  Everybody pops up a short prayer.  Guess what they prayed for.  They all prayed for their baby sister in China...that she would be safe and that she would love us.  It was such a tender moment of selflessness in an otherwise chaotic and self-focused time.  It softened my heart to hear the genuine care they have for someone they've never even met.  So, this led me to the scripture in Isaiah.  "Forget the former things.  Do not dwell on the past."..."See, I am doing a new thing." 
I am excited to see what "new thing" God will do through this.  I am excited to know his heart more and for others to see His great love in the midst of tragedy.  I will hold on for this new thing.  I will stop looking back and I will embrace His new plan.  He is faithful!