The Bigger Issues

Okay, so last  night was a bit of a bummer.  Insecurity...table for one, please!  I got a call from the adoption agency I contacted.  I spoke with a very sweet girl that directed me toward two possibilities for international adoption.  Bulgaria (yeah, I actually had to look it up on the map) and Ethiopia.  Our hearts have been leaning toward Asia, so I'm not sure what to think about this.  I have two more agencies to contact today, so...we'll see.  We're also COMPLETELY open to a domestic adoption.  I just don't know that much about that avenue...so I have a lot of research to do.  Any advice from friends or "friends" of friends that have traveled this road would be GREATLY appreciated!  Hubby spent some time on the internet last night researching too.  I thought the hard part would be actually deciding to go forward.  It seems that the more difficult issues are centered around the decisions that follow.  Last night I started to feel very overwhelmed.  Then I began the process of worrying that maybe we shouldn't do this after all.  People are being supportive, but let's be honest...who hasn't read my ramblings and thought, "ummm, someone needs to tell her she already has four kids!"  I know it doesn't make any sense, and yet, it makes all the sense in the world.  In my mind, one child without a family + one family = God's plan.  So, I got on fb.  Big mistake.  In attempting to go to a group I'm part of, I accidentally clicked on the name of someone in that group, only to find out that this person had un-friended me (for the second time).  REALLY?  I'm aware that not everyone will love me.  But, I hate not knowing why someone doesn't like me.  Then I spiraled from there...
My fabulous husband (have I mentioned that he is amazing yet?) took me home from the pity party and prayed with me.  At the end of a crazy day, I have the unconditional love of Christ, a devoted husband, four wonderful kids, fantastic friends, and lots of love to give.  I think I can handle being secretly un-friended by someone I barely know.  :)
So, blog world friends...Here are the words God has given me as I recover from pity party hangover:  (Isa. 43:2,5)  "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers they will not sweep over you....Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west"  Is Bulgaria or Ethiopia closer from the east?  Just kidding!!