icrazy

Hebrews 12:2 (The Message)
Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed - that exhilarating finish in and with God - he could put up with anything along the way: cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God.

Okay.  I really need to claim this scripture for today.  What a journey this has been.  It has been a flippin' roller coaster!  But here we are...so close to the prize!

What's going on in my head?  I'm nervous.  What if she rejects me.  What if I'm completely overwhelmed by five kids? 

Instead of focusing on the task at hand (i.e. packing!) I've been running around like a chicken without a head.  I have managed to do other completely unnecessary tasks.  And my latest obsession has become the iPhone.  My phone is up for an upgrade.  And since they don't make phones to last more than two years...mine needs replaced.  It has an average battery life of 10 minutes.  Naturally, being fearful that my outside excursions will come to an end...I want to get this matter wrapped up before we leave.  So, I've been researching.

Which is how I ended up at Target last night at 9:50 looking at phones.  Not only was I looking at phones, but I was trying to talk my husband into letting me get one...while I was standing in front of the display case at 9:50.  I plead my case.  (insert massive amounts of whining)...BUT I NEED A SMART PHONE!  Everyone else has one.... What am I supposed to do with Esther while I'm stuck at appointments or practices or games or.....
To which my husband calmly responds..."Do we really need to decide this before 10pm tonight?" (target's closing in 10 minutes...think fast!)
Let's look at our finances and make a smart decision on whether or not we can afford the data plan that you'll have to pay for each month." 
OH. MY. GOODNESS!  Why does he have to be so responsible and so RIGHT!

The truth is:  We have five kids and I'm a stay-at-home mom.  I can't afford a smart phone.  It wouldn't be a financially savvy move.  And why can't I just pack a book, or a toy and entertain my own kid?

So, hubby is right.  My phone will have to be replaced, but i'll end up buying another "dumb" phone at best buy to get me through.  And I'll be thankful.  Because I can walk past my "dumb" phone on my way to my INDOOR PLUMBING and just be grateful that God has placed me in such a comfortable life.  

Perspective.  I found it in scripture!  Keep my eyes on Jesus.  Study how he never lost sight of where he was headed.  He was headed to my redemption.  And he didn't take a detour to Target.  And he certainly didn't have a temper tantrum about his phone.  

Where am I headed?  I'm headed to Esther!  And I'm completing this journey with a man that takes amazing care of our family and keeps me grounded.  I'm so grateful for him and I hope he reads this as my apology for my super immature behavior!  (Deepest apologies and regrets, Love!)