Good Night Essie!

This morning my mind is on my kids.  On this side of the globe, I have a teenager begging for more computer time, kids asking if they can have cookies for breakfast, tousled hair, warm cheeks, pajamas...I have little boys wrapped in blankets playing legos.  It is a sweet summer morning here.  We will begin our day as usual.  There will be arguments, water gun fights, snacks, and toys all over the floor.  There will be laughter and there will certainly be time-outs! :)  But, there will most definitely be love, hugs, and encouragement.

That is on THIS side of the globe.

The part that gets to me is that I have no idea what is happening on the OTHER side of the globe.  As we wake up, my daughter is going to sleep.  Her tiny little body that I've never held will snuggle in for sleep. Does she suck her thumb?  Does she have a favorite blanket or toy?  Is she warm enough?  Does she like to be held before bed?  Does she sleep all night, or does she wake needing reassurance?  Does she take a bottle or sippy cup?  What kind of jammies are her favorites?  And does she dream?
I've only ever seen pictures of her wide awake.  What does she look like when she's sleeping?  Does her hair get sweaty like B's?  Is she a tummy sleeper or a back sleeper?  I can't wait to know these things.

I was reflecting this morning on how my life is all about numbers lately.  Day 63 of the LOA wait...30-45 days more.  (possibly)  And after LOA, 30-45 days until Travel approval.  Then 7-10 days until travel.  And then I realized that although she is completely unaware, her life is all about numbers too!  Her days as an orphan are numbered.  Soon, she will be in our arms and that life of sadness will fade away.  6,500 is the number of dollars we need to complete this adoption in full.  We are SO close!  I believe that God will close the gap...not for me, but for Esther!  Because He loves her.  I may not know the details of her life there, but He does.  That is what gives me amazing peace today.  God knows what she looks like when she sleeps.  He has already held her.  He keeps her safe.  He created her tiny life and He already knows the plans He has for her. (Jeremiah 29:11)

So, goodnight Essie!  We love you so much!  We are praying for you every day and you are always in our thoughts!  Very soon you will be here in your home and surrounded by love.  This has been confirmed to me a thousand times by the simply astounding number of people that are already supporting your journey home!  It will take you a lifetime to process all of the love you have from people that have never laid eyes on you.  Because you represent the desire in all of them to be part of a story that is bigger than us all!
All my love, sweet baby girl!
- your mama!