My Daughter's Birthday

Tomorrow we will celebrate a birthday.  Strangely, everyone will be here except the birthday girl, herself.  I was thinking tonight about the eve of my other kids' birthdays.  My mind is usually so full of wonderful memories from the past year.  I snuggle in to their necks and kiss them sweetly and let go of one more year of their childhood.  It is such a bittersweet moment...

But, this is different.  

This time, I know virtually NOTHING about my child.  I don't know her personality, or her smell, or what it feels like to hold her.  I am celebrating a stranger.  Adoption is a weird process.

It seems unfair that as she turns one in a far away orphanage, we will go on with our day.  In an office, a social worker will continue to work on her paperwork.  We will continue to wait patiently (ok...patient is a goal!)

Her brothers are baking a cake for her.  I'll post pictures later.  We'll have a little party in her honor. But, I cannot give her a present or watch her dive fist first into her cake.  That will have to wait another year.  The only thing I can offer in the way of a gift...as her mom...is a prayer.

I pray that God will keep her healthy and strong.  I pray that she will know His perfect love and that she will be safe.  I pray that God will help us continue on this path to bring her into a family.  And I pray that He will help us raise the money to bring her home.  

I know God has amazing plans for her life.  And this process of adoption is growing and refining us in ways we never imagined!  I heard a song today on the radio as I was waiting to go in and pick up D-Dog from preschool.  "Set the World on Fire" by Britt Nicole.  Our pastor once challenged us in our walk with Christ.  He said, "Do you want to know if your dream is big enough?  Well, do ya punk?"  Sorry.. I couldn't resist adding a little Eastwood.  :)  He said, "If you would fall flat on your face if God didn't show up...then your dream is big enough."  WOW!  That is so scary.  This week, I saw several areas that we are holding back on financially in order to fund this adoption.  We are living frugal, baby!  But, we can't do this adoption by ourselves.  If we try to pay for the whole thing, we'll end up in debt.  If we tried this adoption on our own, we would fail.  I trust that God is working out the timing and the finances.  I have to trust Him...or else I have nothing...

And there is too much at stake to abandon faith now.  

I wanna set the world on fire
Until it's burning bright for You
It's everything that I desire
Can I be the one You use?

[CHORUS]
I, I am small but
You, You are big enough
I, I am weak but
You, You are strong enough to
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I can not do
Nothing I cannot do

I wanna feed the hungry children
And reach across the farthest land
And tell the broken there is healing
And mercy in the Father's hands

[CHORUS]

Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I cannot do
Nothing I cannot do

My hands my feet
My everything
My life, my love
Lord, use me

I wanna set the world on fire
I wanna set the world on fire, yeah

Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I cannot do
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
There's nothing I can't do
Nothing I can't do