Sitting in the PICU

I am currently sitting in a super uncomfortable chair in the PICU while my daughter listens to fireflight on my phone and applies hello kitty chapstick at a rate of once per 15 seconds.  She has seriously bodacious lips right now. :)  It has been a long night with very little sleep.  When she's medicated, she's content.  When the meds run out, she's a mess.  I can't blame her.  She has a large incision on her back and she has been lying flat for several hours.  Her favorite pastime is watching videos on my phone of her glory days...doing flips in the living room at home.  I keep promising her that she'll flip again soon. 

It is hard to believe that six months ago I didn't even know this child.  She feels so much a part of me that I can't remember life without her.  Staying here with her through her surgery has been tough.  And I'll be honest...I'm really tired.  But, I am counting it joy to be here serving her.  God is using this experience to allow me to die to myself and serve Him.  The selfish me would love to be at home in my comfy bed sleeping.  Oh how I love sleep.  But, as I comfort her, dodge her smacks of discomfort, bring her drinks, and change positions in this terrible chair...it works in my heart. 

I think about how for two years of her life she didn't have this.  She didn't know the consistent love of a mom and dad.  This is building her trust. 

I think about how God doesn't leave us.  He is always near to us.  Even in our pain and discomfort, he is there.  A loving father that comforts us, dodges our smacks of discomfort, brings us the things we need, and never regrets the sacrifice.

This is love.  And it is good.