When I see this picture, my heart almost explodes! But, I also feel slightly overwhelmed at the weight of responsibility! These are five of the most amazing people in the world. And I have the luxury of calling them mine...here on earth.
I am scared to death of letting them down.
What if I don't give them enough of me?
This morning, B gave me a run for my money where patience is concerned. ATTITUDE! Where did my tender-hearted sweet boy go? D-Dog has been dethroned as my baby. And each night at bedtime his plea for "one more snuggle" echoes in my ears. Yes. I will climb in bed with you and snuggle...because someday you won't want this.
Z is a full-on teenager. Complete with the lingering scent of Axe body spray and the warp speed journey through puberty. "He's only in our home for five more years!!!" My head screams. Soak it up. His sense of humor is closest to my own. He makes me laugh...He makes me see the things to laugh about. I already miss him and he's not gone yet. Noodle! He is a mystery to me. He is so completely opposite in personality to my own. Yet, I am drawn in by his quiet way. He is tenderness encased in an athlete's body. He knows what buttons to push, but he would give away his last stick of gum to a sibling. And E. The surgery, the unknown, the toddler drama, the abandonment issues. How can I meet your needs as a mommy?
My heart is full...and heavy. So much love and so much to care for.
2 Chronicles 1:10
Give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may lead this people, for who is able to govern this great people of yours?"
I trust that God, who has guided my steps, will give me what I need to lead these five amazing individuals straight into HIS arms.
I wish I could say that when they grow up, marry and are successful, wonderful, young men, and young woman, that you won't worry..but it's a lie. Its a different kind of worry, but they will never not be your babies!!
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