My Dirty Vacuum.

Merry Christmas!  You might expect me to talk about the birth of Christ today...but, I've always been a bit of a rebel that way.  And be honest...as much as you love Christmas songs, aren't you desperately hitting the "seek" button looking for something with a driving beat that doesn't have a Christmas theme?  I love Christmas.  I love that this is the day that God stuffed his Holiness into a weak human body to save my soul.  But, with that disclaimer, I will move on to the topic consuming my heart today.  It is my dirt...my wretched and awful dirt!  You see, I have been on this wonderful journey of faith for several years now.  When God rescued me, he found me swimming in my selfishness.  From my viewpoint, I was on a yacht in the middle of the Mediterranean.  I was dining on the finest of foods and my heart was content.  I lived for me...no one else!  But, when God revealed his perfect love for me through his son, I saw a different view.  I realized that in light of God's holiness and sacrifice, I was, instead, floating on a dinghy, out in the middle of the shark infested waters.  I was eating rotten food, and my heart was empty.  But, just because I've been rescued from my perverse view of myself, doesn't mean that I don't still struggle.  I learned a very important lesson from my vacuum cleaner the other day.  Yes, there truly are lessons everywhere!  Hubby had cleaned out the vacuum, but he put it back together wet.  Wet vacuum pieces start to develop a very ripe smell.  Not knowing this was the case, I got out the vacuum and started to clean the floors.  You can imagine the terrible smell that emanated from my vacuum.  I was trying to clean the floors, but instead, I was filling the air with a wretched smell.  I thought about this device...how its only purpose is to clean.  And I thought about how something dirty inside a clean vessel can actually make things worse.  After all, my floors had some lint on them before, but now my floors were lint free and my house smelled like moldy, poopy, stinky feet. 
For the past two days I have really struggled.  My attitude has not been very good.  I've been stressed out with my kids, I've been crabby to my husband, and I've called off the adoption process twice.  Yeah, I've been a real treat!  This is not who I am in Christ.  I do not have this flimsy spirit.  I do not vacillate when it comes to God's will and His calling.  He has changed me!  And I need to reflect that.  So, my only response, is to fall on my face (literally) and ask the God of mercy and grace to pick me up.  I cry out these words from the Psalms:
Create in me a clean heart, O God.
 Renew a loyal spirit within me.
Psalm 51:10
God, my selfishness and sin are like the moldy pieces of the vacuum.  They have no place inside a heart that belongs to you.  Please clean my heart and renew the loyal spirit within me!  May your Holy Spirit remove the offensiveness in me so I don't spread it to the world around me!  In the name of your perfect and Holy son, Jesus...Amen!