The First Day of School Starts at WHAT time?

If you scroll down, you'll see that I've been MIA since June.

  That's because I have five kids, people!

No, seriously...when all of my kids are home, I have to fight for computer time.  I have four Minecraft addicts, and a husband that needs the computer at night for work.

It has been very loud here.  Too loud.  Four boys and one girl can crank out the noise.  I would like to tell you that it has been seven shades of bliss all summer.  But, if trophies were given out for most tattling, most whining, most instigating, and most avoiding work...I'd have to clear the mantle.  It has been wonderful, and it has been hard.  I have smiled and laughed at the jokes, interactions, and conversations.  But, I have hidden in my closet to call AT&T.

Today was the first day of school in our district.  I have two middle schoolers, two elementary kiddos and one babe still at home.  I had a chalkboard ready this morning for a fantastic first day photo op.

Oldest child was up first. He was looking snazzy in his new V-neck tee and khaki shorts.   "MOM!  I don't have time for this.  This is NOT COOL!"  My reply?  "SMILE...please...So I can scrapbook this someday when I get my crap together...and I'll remember that you were sweet and not snarly...'cause you'll be smiling."
He complied...mostly to shut me up.

Child two rolls out of bed and throws on the clean-ish athletic shorts in the corner and a basketball shirt.  "Does this match?"  he asks me.  "Ummmm, sure...they are both in the sport category."  It doesn't matter what color they are.  "Come take your picture with the sign, please."  "Uh, (insert half smile) why are you doing this?" he asked.  "B.E.C.A.U.S.E!  Everyone on facebook will have cute pictures of their kids going to the first day of school.  I have to keep up the act that I've got it all together.  Now pose!"  Click!  Done!  Two down, two to go.

Except, the other two pictures didn't happen.

 Between feeding child #2 and walking him to the bus, I had time for a 15 minute shower/get dressed/dry hair.  After the bus drop off, I ran back to wake up kids # 3 and #4.  Made breakfast, got them ready, made their lunches and calmed first day fears.  Then I ran up to wake child #5, change her diaper, get her dressed, feed her and hit the car with three kids in tow.
The day continued on toward crazyville from there.  I ended up returning from soccer practice tonight to a house full of people from our small group.  As I walked through the kitchen, my laser like mom eyes landed on an item out of place.  "A roll of paper towels and an ice pack can only mean one thing."  In the hour I was gone, someone got hurt.  I sat down next to my husband and asked with a weary sigh, "Who got hurt?"  "Child #2...fell off the skateboard.  His wrist hurts."

And just like that...The second day of school has hit a snag!

But.  If you offered me another life, I wouldn't take it!  I love being a mom and I love the chaos!  I'm aware that people see my hot buttered mess and wonder how this machine keeps running.  I literally have NO idea!  But I can say one thing for sure.  I am never bored.  And my days are anything but monotonous.  And I know that one day, my kids will be out of my house and I will LONG for these days.

Stay tuned for our next gameshow:  Broken, Fractured or Sprained.

To be continued...

A Rescue Takes More Than a Day

Today was HARD!

E was DIFFICULT!

I am WORN!

My heart is BROKEN!

I had my most difficult confrontation to date with my daughter.  She began the day with a sunny disposition.  But the clouds rolled in just as my mom, E and I were sitting down for lunch at a restaurant.

Those of you that know my daughter are well aware that she is energetic.  She loves to bounce. She loves to jump.  She loves to laugh.  But, at lunchtime, this behavior is not acceptable.  We had already endured a meltdown in front of my grandmother.  E had taken my mom's bracelet and thrown it at an antique dresser and mirror.  In her shock, my mom yelled, "E!!!!"  Don't throw that!  Immediately, E shut down and started clawing at my shirt and buried her head to cry.

So, I wasn't really in the mood for round two.  Guess what...Toddlers don't care!

I sweetly asked E to stop jumping in the booth.  She kept jumping.  I asked again with more authority.  She kept jumping.  I put my hands out, caught her and sat her on her bottom.  "Stop jumping, E!  That is not ok."  I said.

Have you ever watched the Incredible Hulk transform?  Yeah...it was kinda like that.  She closed her eyes, started clawing me, and bit my arm hard enough to bring tears.  I took her out to the van and put her in the seat.  We both needed the fresh air.  Before you start thinking..."She's out of control...she just needs a good spank..."  please know that the thought crossed my mind.  But we made the decision to never spank E.  She has only been with us for 10 months.  For two years of her life, we have no idea what she endured.  We know that she was bruised when she came to us.  She spent the first two months hating me and slapping me in the face with NO EMOTION on hers...just waiting to see if I would hit her.  So NO.  I will not spank her.  I am forced to be more creative with her discipline.

The thing I hold onto is that she eventually feels contrition.  She will come to me on her own...unprompted and say those sweet words...sorry mama.

And today, she did just that.

And while I was standing next to the car waiting for her to calm down and apologize, the thought crossed my mind...Sometimes, a rescue takes more than a day.  We took E out of her broken situation and brought her to a loving family.  We have shown her every day for ten months that she is important, valued, beautiful and loved.  But we cannot erase in a day all of the damage that was done to her heart.  Our rescue of her takes patience, incredible love, and an enormous dose of Jesus.  I love it when people look at my daughter and comment on her beauty.  I love that she inspires others to step out in faith and adopt.  But, the true gift is when the steadfast and unconditional love we feel reminds us of the same qualities God feels for us.  Our rescue from brokenness happened in a moment.  All it took was asking Christ to take control of our sin-filled lives.  But, the actual changing of our hearts can sometimes take time.

If you have given your life to Christ and you are discouraged by a heart that is still in process, please believe me when I say;  Sometimes a rescue takes more than a day.  And if I can muster the energy and strength to love my daughter through her disobedience and trauma, God can walk with us through anything.

So, what is God rescuing you from?  An affair?  Pornography?  Obsession with money? Anger?  Food? Lies?  Drugs? Fear? Anxiety?  Broken relationships?

Isaiah 40:29 is my lifeline tonight.
"He gives strength to the weary (that's me) and increases the power of the weak (that's E)"  Do you need to know this truth tonight?

Love and prayers, friends.

We have so much room for ACTIVITIES

I know I can't endorse the movie...it has a low morality rating.  But, this scene is stuck in my brain and it makes me laugh when i see it!  Will Ferrel's character has an obvious excitement over "activities"  And my mind ALWAYS goes to my husband during this scene.  My hubby LOVES activities.  He grew up on the global scene.  So, he was an expert at navigating international airports by the time he was five.  He isn't happy unless he is busy.  Therefore, it is difficult for him to truly relax.  I, on the other hand, love to chill.  I am happiest when we are sitting around having a snack and chatting about life.  I love being home.  I love game nights, movie nights, sleepovers with the youth group etc...  But, I'm not a lover of going out for activities.  Perhaps it is my hermit nature.  It might even be the five kids that I usually drag with me every time I leave the house.  But, it just sounds like a lot of unnecessary work.  No.  I'm not lazy.  I just see the work involved and the possible nightmare it could be if we fill the minivan and head out.  That's why my husband is the one always signing the kids up for football, basketball, scouts, band, piano, baseball, track, tennis, camps, etc...
They are lucky to have him.  They would be bored if I planned their lives.  Hubby planned a delightful family outing a few weeks ago to Shakespeare in the park.  It was awful.  The kids were loud, didn't understand the play at all, (what?  you speak Shakespearian at your home?)  And the two year old lost it completely when the snacks were gone.  Out of submission and all that is holy in marriage...I kept my mouth shut.  But, inwardly I was thinking,"this is why I hate activities!"
So, I am headed to pick up my second and third sons from camp this afternoon.  There is a sweet program ending the festivities at 4pm.  Hubby has grandly suggested that we pack up the whole herd and go to see an outdoor play tonight...after camp pick-up...after he finishes his work day...after I complete all the laundry...after his doctoral class.  Oh yeah...and let's take a picnic.  My first instinct..."WHAT?  ARE YOU CRAZY?"
But then I remind myself of the obvious.  My husband LOVES "activities".  He loves planning them, executing them, and he isn't even mad when it all falls apart.  Because, in his mind...at least we tried.  At least we set out on an adventure.  And truly...I want my kids to grow up under that influence.  I want them to attempt the seemingly impossible.  I want them to look chaos in the eye and say, "WE LOVE ACTIVITIES!  Even though I will be dreaming of reading my book, I will embrace the late night outing.  Because I am eternally grateful for my husband.  I am in love with his enthusiasm for life and adventure. And because I know that when  if things fall apart, he will help me carry everyone to the car and get the herd safely back home.

Bigstuf

Nothing could have prepared me for the awesomeness of Bigstuf camp!  We were in Panama City Beach, Fl for one week.  The camp takes over a hotel right on the white sand beach for the entire summer.  And churches sign up for one of the eight weeks.  Our church took 200 teens and leaders to the camp this year.  My main impression is that this is what heaven will feel like.  We were surrounded by the beauty of the beach and we spent our days learning about God's love and singing the most beautiful songs.  We got to play in the ocean, build sand castles, have dance parties in our room, laugh, cry, and pray together.  It was surreal.

Our youth director is amazing.  I just have to say that.  I don't know how he handles all of the work on his plate.  He definitely does not have "regular" hours.  Teenagers don't operate on those hours.  But, he does it without complaint and seems to really love his job.  We are blessed!!!
He makes a habit of praying over the rooming situation and refuses to tell anyone their room assignment until we are in the parking lot about to check in.
I'm going to be honest.  I assumed I would end up with the girls I have been with for two years.  They are comfort to me.  I know them well.  I LIKE them. And for some crazy reason, they like me too.  We were all flashing smiles and crossing fingers hoping to be thrown together for the week.  But, as the names were read, all of the girls I know well were assigned to other rooms.  My heart started to pump harder.  "WAIT!  I don't have any of "MY" girls?"  What was our youth pastor doing?
As it turns out, I was given three girls fresh off graduation and one junior that has been to our youth group (fusion) a few times.  I got a little sweaty and started to panic!  They are looking at me like they've just been assigned to prison.  They don't know me at all...I'm guessing they didn't get the room assignment they were hoping for either.  Somehow I can't picture us holding hands and singing Kumbaya anytime soon.

Fast forward to the evening session.  The speaker started talking about the Israelites going into the promised land.  He spoke of their excitement at God's promises.  These people were stoked about what God had planned for them.  And, let's face it, God had built a reputation of faithfulness with this group. They were hanging onto some serious promises.  But, as they crossed the river, they looked ahead and saw....dum dum dum...Jericho!

Most of you know the story.  Joshua was leading the group.  They were a pretty sad looking army.  Joshua felt unqualified for the upcoming battle.  But, God gave him a solid plan.  POWERWALKING!
Joshua and the others were to basically powerwalk around Jericho for seven days blowing horns etc...and the walls would fall down.  If we step back a little, we have to acknowledge that the plan sounds a little flawed.  I mean, seriously, the battle plan was laughable.

Well, I was facing my own Jericho.  God had filled my heart with excitement about Bigstuf, and I had crossed the river, landed on the beach to face something that felt impossible for me.  But, God was using this to humble my heart and remind me that NOTHING good happens without HIM.  In that evening session, I put my pride at His feet and asked Him to take down the walls of Jericho.  I knew I didn't have anything to bring this particular group of girls.  But, God did.  And He was faithful!  The week was amazing.  Friendships were built.  People grew closer to Christ.  One of my girls was baptized, and recommitted her life to God.  My own personal Jericho fell...and it had nothing to do with me.  At the end of the week, I could see how God had put together the entire week because he has an insane love for these girls.  He covered every detail.  It was beautiful!  His crazy pursuit of their lives reminded me of the love He has for me.  And I am overwhelmed.

For those of you praying, THANK YOU!!!  For those of you that aren't sure if this "God thing" is for you, please let me assure you of something.  God works out the tiny details in your life to prove to you that He is there!  He shows up.  He is real.  And he wants the best life for you.  He wants joy for your life.

Bigstuf changed me.  It grew my faith.  And it strengthened relationships with some of the most amazing teenagers and leaders I've ever met!  I can't wait for next year!!!  And I'm even more excited about doing life with these crazy kids.

The girls in my room!

All the junior girls after one of them was baptized.

My sweet friend!  She has an amazing heart!!

My Heart Beats for THIS!!

Jesus and Stinky Feet

Around here, bedtime is a disaster!  It takes forever, and even though I feel like I've just negotiated with bank robbers when its over, I still have three hours of work to do before I can go to bed.

I was tired last night. And since mob mentality usually rules, I decided to split up the crew.  I made up some crazy "stations" game and they bought it with grand excitement.  "What?  Half of us go to snack station, and half of us go to shower and grooming station?  This is the best night ever!"
I know!  Sometimes, they are smarter than me...and sometimes, they are little sheep! :)

I got three of them going on snacks and I took the two youngest boys up to my bathroom.

I am so hesitant to write this next part.  I fear that many of you will look at me differently.  You know how sometimes when you drive a car...you forget to change the oil?  Well, sometimes, I forget to clip my kids' toenails.  Usually I don't bust out the clippers until someone is stabbing holes in their sheets.  I think I just hate feet.  I don't even really enjoy my own.

So, as one of the boys removed his sock...I may have gasped in horror.  I'm not really all that sure my kids even wash their feet.  Based on what I saw under the socks, I'm not sure their feet ever get wet.
(okay, wait...put down your bagel)
We're talking long toenails with dirt under every one.  Sock fuzz was stuck between every toe.  It was just NASTY!

As I grabbed the clippers and set to work on the toes, the thought actually crossed my mind, "Wait!  This is Mother's Day!  Why should I have to do this on Mother's Day?"  This day is about me, my comfort, my praise!

But soon, I felt something happening in my heart.  My eight year old was perched on my sink, and I was carefully clipping toenails and removing dirt.  I grabbed my very special foot scrub and brush, and went the extra mile with a little spa treatment.  He smiled and put his hand on my shoulder.  "Thanks, mom!  That feels really good," he said.  "You're washing my feet just like Jesus washed stinky people's feet."  Yes!  I thought.  Serving is good!

My eleven year old was watching this scene unfold.  He walked up to me and said, "Mom, can you do the same thing to my feet?  It looks fun."

Ahhh!  Lesson learned!

Sometimes, in my Christian walk, I struggle with entitlement.  Why do I have to do the hard stuff, Jesus?  Can't someone else do it?  But, when I truly serve...when it stops being about me...something beautiful happens.  Blessings happen.  The recipient is blessed, and so am I.  And even more amazing than that, is the fact that other people see it.  My eleven year old might not have even wanted me to touch his feet.  And truly...he COULD take care of his own feet.  But, he saw that something gross could actually be quite lovely and he wanted to be part of it.

How are we going to get other people interested in even knowing Jesus, if we don't show them how great he is.  And sometimes, in order to show them, we have to get our hands dirty...and do things we don't exactly enjoy.

This is my mom with Es.

As Mother's Day comes to a close, I must say thank you to the beautiful and loving woman that has raised me.  She taught me the tough lessons on sacrifice and love.  Without her, I would not be the mama that I am today.  She made a delicious meal for me yesterday and she did it with a hip injury.  I'm not going to embarrass her and tell you how she got the injury.  I will only say that we now call her Shaquille O'Neil  and she isn't allowed to play basketball with D-Dog any more.

I love this girl! :)

And I love Jesus for saving my wretched selfish soul and teaching me that servanthood is always better than my own comfort.

Have a beautiful Monday, friends!  And look for opportunities to serve others today.  :)

I'm her mama!

I just read a recent article about the one-child policy in China and it made me sick.   This is not the first piece I've read about the controversial policy.  I've encountered several heart-wrenching books and articles about trash bags full of baby girls that were aborted against their mother's will.  I've read accounts of the infanticide and the sale of baby girls to gangs for sex trade.  And sadly...I know it goes on all over China today.

Maybe it is because Mother's Day is this weekend.  Maybe it is because I am an emotional creature.  Maybe it is because I can't get enough of my daughter's little personality.  But, I have a constant ache in my heart for the children of China that do not have a mama's arms around them right now.

I was running errands yesterday and it was naptime.  My daughter fell asleep in the car, so I transferred her into the carrier and put her up against my chest and carried her through the stores.  I was almost giddy with her warm sleepy body pressed against mine.  I waited so long for her...years, really.  The dream for her was a fourteen year pregnancy.  Don't get me wrong.  My boys are amazing.  I could write books about them.  But, they came from different circumstances.  They were born out of the love between my husband and me.  They have my eyes, his nose, and a history that stretches back to the womb.  They are special.  They are a gift.  I celebrate their awesomeness every day.  And I can't even tell you how amazing it is to have their little hands wrapped around my neck while they laugh, or try to avoid my fat kisses.

But her story is different.  I don't know the circumstances of her birth...or the people that brought her into existence.  But I know that she could have easily become a statistic.  She could have been killed, or  sold, or never discovered in her little box next to a cornfield.  Her life could have been over before it ever had the chance to start.

As I held her yesterday, I actually said out loud, "I love her more than I love myself!"  That kind of love is not even possible without Christ!  Especially if you know how rough our relationship was in the beginning.

The tragic stories that exist will always break my heart.  But, her adoption story will always give me hope.

She was born into a culture that does not value her gender.  But while biology made her a girl...Redemption made her a daughter.  And in that respect, we couldn't be more alike!