We have a checklist in our minds:
- buy presents
- send cards
- make cookies
- attend parties
- play holiday music constantly
- add lights
This year is different. This year, I found Christmas somewhere other than my usual list.
There are some amazing people out there doing amazing things. Two weeks ago I joined them in a little bus filled with donated clothing, hats, gloves, and blankets. We traveled to various places around St. Louis to meet with the homeless community. The organization is called Churches on the Streets and they are meeting the tangible needs of the community. They bring a food truck filled with delicious dinners and hot chocolate. But it is so much more than just meeting a physical need.
I spent last night close to the Mississippi in a place they call "tent city." It had been raining all day, so the potholes were filled with water and the tree limbs used for fire were wet. When we arrived, it was dark. It was so incredibly dark. We stumbled around handing out donated bags of candy, hand warmers, and socks. Eventually, lights were added, Santa showed up, the smell of dinner filled the air and we started singing carols.
Just like that...it was transformed. LOVE was the transformation. As I stood in a circle laughing and singing with members of the homeless community, it hit me. THIS is holiness! I closed my eyes and tried not to let anyone see the tears slip down my cheeks. One man smiled and remarked, "I wish it could always be like this!" Who knew that holiness, true Christmas, could be found on the dark streets of St. Louis. I didn't know it would exist in the hugs, laughs, and jokes shared between a hyper girl from the suburbs and friends struggling with addictions, homelessness, and prison experiences.
But friends, It WRECKED me! I know their names. I know their stories. I see their addictions. I see their hearts. As we walked to our car at the end of the night, I made the mistake of looking back. One of the guys we spent the evening with was standing there in the dark with his bag of goodies. I called him Teddy Bear. He is a 6'5" man with the most gentle nature I've ever met. I should have felt good inside. I should have felt like I made a difference. But I mostly just wanted to vomit. This is what brokenness for Jesus looks like. You serve, but you don't get to feel good about yourself afterwards. Instead, you leave a piece of your heart on the streets. You worry that it will be too cold for your new friends. You get scared that the tickle in their throat or the fever may turn into something serious and they won't get the help they need. You want to protect them from the drug deal waiting for them down the street.
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| My "Teddy Bear" with Santa |
As I came home and processed the night, I was keenly aware that I had experienced holiness in its most genuine form. My previous list was destroyed. I saw the birth of Jesus in a whole new light.
Jesus didn't come to earth with lights, choirs, and expensive parties. He was born into the dark streets of Bethlehem. As our pastor/chaplain so beautifully put it last night...Jesus spent his whole life homeless. Luke 9:58 quotes Jesus as saying, "Foxes have dens and birds have nests. But the son of God has no place to lay his head." Jesus didn't come for the party. He came for the broken. He knew our names, he knew our stories. He saw our addictions, and he saw our hearts. And in the dark sinful world, LOVE was the transformation.
If you would like to learn more about Churches on the Street, please visit the Facebook page. Financial donations are always needed to keep this ministry going. https://www.facebook.com/ChurchesontheStreetsSTL
A fight with the husband this morning, an empty bank account with presents left to buy and generally feeling so sad today I barely felt like getting out of bed. I think God led me here today to read this. Thank you for opening my heart today and letting some light shine through. Thank you
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