Look past the first glance...

Today I will tell you about one of my biggest sins.  

I judge by first appearances.

And it is usually fueled by my insecurity.

We were at my grandmother's 80th birthday party today.  My very large family was there and we were mingling and catching up.  As I was caught up in conversation, I glanced over and my eyes landed on someone I hadn't met yet.  This particular girl is dating a cousin of mine and though I'd seen pictures of her, I'd never stood in the same room with her.  

She is beautiful!

And suddenly, I felt less than beautiful.  My skirt felt a little too frumpy, my hair felt a little too frizzy, my skin morphed into acne land, and all the flaws bubbled to the surface.  So naturally, I didn't want to like her.  In fact, I decided on the spot that I wouldn't even engage her in conversation.  After all, she had a golden glow, flowing locks, and the hippest clothing in the building.  What would we even have in common?  I was dripping with sweat and trying to keep a two year old from destroying the birthday cake.

And then Jesus called me aside.  

He does that sometimes when I'm acting ugly.  When He sees that my heart is not all that pure...he calls me out.

"She's one of my kids", He urged.  "She's in a room full of people that she doesn't know and you have the chance to welcome her and include her."

"Represent me!" he whispered!  

"I am patient, I am kind. I do not envy.  I do not boast.  I am not proud.  I do not dishonor others.  I am not self-seeking.  I am not easily angered.  I keep no record of wrongs.  I do not delight in evil.  But I rejoice with the truth.  I always protect, always trust, always hope and always persevere."  

"Now go represent me!"

And so I did.

Because I love Jesus.

And because I want to love what Jesus loves.

I started a conversation.  And guess what.  She is LOVELY!  But even if she had been terrible, obedience would have been required.  It turns out that we have a lot in common.  We are both teachers and we both love kids.  We grew up in towns very close to each other and had a wonderful conversation.  I hope she becomes a permanent member of the family soon.  I think she would be a fantastic addition.  But I wouldn't have ever known that if I had allowed my sinful heart to rule.  When I put my insecurity to the side, I was able to see that while this girl is beautiful on the outside, she is also beautiful on the inside.  

Tonight, I will go to bed humbled.  Some of these lessons on following hard after Jesus are difficult.  But I pray that He will continue to invest in me...molding me...and showing me grace.  There is so much I need to know.

Scripture says it best, "

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.  1 Corinthians 13:2