Some Nights...

It stormed tonight.

B had a panic attack.

It broke my heart.

The timing worked out so that we were driving home in the storm tonight.  He was such a carefree guy only an hour before.  But, as soon as the lightening, rain, and thunder hit...he was a mess.

He asked me about "wolfie"  his stuffed animal that disappeared during the tornado.  It was his favorite stuffed animal.  He asked if I thought it was still out in the woods somewhere...or if it had disintegrated.

This was his room after it had been "cleaned up".  Immediately after the tornado, there was drywall blocking the door and sharp 2x4s had stabbed the bed where B had been sleeping.  I don't have the heart to tell him that "Wolfie" was found by my dad.  He had been stabbed by a sharp splintered 2x4 and the stuffing was gone.  My dad threw wolfie away.

This is how my babies looked in the days after the tornado:

And when it storms, they become the same frightened children that beg to sleep in my bed.

That's my spot...in the middle.  They both fell asleep tonight with their feet on my legs.  But, not until we had a long conversation about what we would do in the event of a fire. :(  (danger is real to them)
"How will we get out?"  asked D-Dog.  "Remember our plan?"  I asked.  "Yeah...but where will we live?"  He inquired.

And the weight of being a parent hit me square between the eyes.  They need reassurance.  They need to know that it will all be okay.  But when they ask if we will have a fire...what do I say?  When they ask if we'll have another tornado, what do I say?  The only answer I can honestly give is this:  If it happens, we will get through it.  We have each other and we have God.  Today, we sang a song in church.  "Never Once"  The lyrics are:  "Never Once did we ever walk alone.  Never once did you leave us on our own.  You are faithful...God, you are faithful."  As I look at our family and what we've walked through together...and as I look at my sweet daughter and think of what we walked through to adopt her...I know these words are true.  God is faithful.  And we NEVER walk alone.