Abundant Life and dirty diapers

 ^{John 10:10}
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

I almost quit Jesus. 

 It happened a couple of weeks ago on a Sunday afternoon.  I was jet-lagged, exhausted, overwhelmed, sad, and facing constant rejection from my newly adopted daughter.  My "story" was once again not going the way I had planned.    In my self righteous anger, I boldly shook my fist at God and asked the age old question..."Why can't things go the way I want them to?  Fortunately, God isn't the kind of deity that strikes idiots down as they are walking off their anger.  I walked on.  I tossed around the idea of disrupting the adoption and walking away from my faith.  The entire time I thought about it, though...I couldn't really envision my life without Christ.  Basically, this was another "roll around on the floor banging my fists and crying" tantrum.  In my pain, I had reverted back to the child that wants what she wants, when she wants it!  Sorry, girlie...God doesn't respond to that behavior!

By the time I got home from my 2 hour walk of anger, my husband was there to lovingly greet me and pull me out for a private talk.  He was exactly what I needed in the middle of my high speed come-apart.  He reminded me of God's faithfulness (why do I always forget it?) He reminded me that we are a team.  We will do this together.  And he reminded me of the beautiful life we were fortunate enough to live...even if I couldn't see it through my curtain of pain.

Since that day, God has been faithful to grow my relationship with my daughter.  But, it is coming slooooowly.  First, I had to set my feelings aside and agree to mother her...to love her...with my actions.  When I felt like crying, I smiled at her instead.  (yes...teeth were totally gritting).  I got her snacks, I changed her diapers (that's love!  You know it!)  And I sat and held her as she fell asleep.  She learned minute by minute to trust me.  And I have to say, the process impacted me.

God sent Jesus to die for me so I could live.  He adopted me.  But, I rejected Him.  For several years during my youth, I rejected Him.  Even still, I can be a very challenging child!  But, He is slowly showing me with His actions that I can trust Him.  When my house came apart, He provided.  In China with a broken heart, He was there.  My relationship with my daughter is a direct parallel with the relationship I have with HIM.

The other day, I was perusing Facebook and I came across some recently posted photos.  The title of the album could have been "barely dressed, drinking and flirting like a fool". As I looked at the photos I remembered that God had brought me from a life similar to this.  It was a life completely focused on ME and the next "good time" 

"The thief (satan) comes ONLY to steal, kill and destroy." 

he doesn't really care about your "good times".  He will gladly watch you party yourself into an STD, pregnancy, sickness, infidelity, divorce, and death.  He'll supply the streamers!


"I (Jesus) have come so they may have life, and have it to the full"  

Jesus has a shattered heart every time He sees someone He loves heading down the slippery slope of destruction.  He has a much fuller life available for all of us.  Pay attention!  It is NOT pain free!  And it is not perfect.  My fuller life is filled with poopy diapers, crying, and not very much quiet time.  Since we are flawed, we will always struggle in this life.  But, the life we get when we follow Him is too difficult to describe to someone not living their "fuller life".  So, since a picture is worth a thousand words...please allow me to show you what He means by "a fuller life"