Dear Tornado Victims,

I realize I am writing a blog that you will never see.  But, my heart is broken and my mind is constantly being pulled to you.  As I see the news coverage, my mind is pulled back to the terror of our own experience.  You are all over the news today, but by next week, you will feel like an archived story.  The Today show will move on to the next big story.  But you will still be putting your lives back together.  No one will know that the deepest part of you aches to jump back into your own bed.  Isn't that what we want the most when we are hurt, sad, or scared?  We want the safety of our home.  We want the safety of our bed.  We want that old pillow that forms perfectly to our head.  We want to be able to reach over to the table beside our bed and grab the lotion, or the book, or the picture we keep there.  But those things aren't there anymore.  Your sense of security is gone.  Your "normal" is destroyed.
You will have children with nightmares and you will jump out of bed in the middle of the night with the overwhelming feeling that you need to flee.  A stormy forecast will make your heart race and your skin sweat.  The sound of wind, that never bothered you before, will keep you rigid with anxiety.
People will be overwhelmingly amazing.  They will help you pick up the broken pieces.  But, all you'll be thinking is, "How will I ever get all these thank-yous done.  I don't even know where my pens are."
You'll have to rock new shoes, new clothes and even new underwear.  You'll desperately miss that one pair of jeans that made your butt look great.  Your spouse or children will ask where something is and you'll reply..."before the tornado, it was _______.  I have no clue where it is now."
You'll have to hold a child a year later and let him cry because he still misses his stuffed animal and worries that it is alone and broken in the woods somewhere behind your house.
You'll have funny moments too.  But they will seem surreal.  You will find that out of all the possessions you lost, they've managed to save the most bizarre ones.  After surgery to repair my own lacerations, I was taken back to our new home(The Holiday Inn Express).  I walked through the door feeling exhaustion in my bones to find that someone had found and transferred our basket of mismatched socks to the hotel.  For a moment I just stared at the basket wondering what kind of sick joke this could be.  Even the socks were mocking my pain.  I simply lifted the small basket, carried it to the trash can and dumped it.  Its not like we'll ever find the matches now.
You'll find that even in sadness, you'll want to connect with your spouse.  But, since you have no home, you'll find yourself hiding in the bathroom of the hotel together using candles borrowed from a friend and saying things like, "Please don't touch my head and please don't make my head wound bleed."  Sexy, huh?
And after that, you'll sneak back out to the sleeping children and sleep in separate beds so you can comfort them when the nightmares hit.  It is a surreal experience.
If you rebuild, you will go back to the work site that used to be your home.  You'll laugh at how you now have broken toilets in your front yard and worry that the neighbors hate you.  You'll see where you bled and you'll see where you survived.  You'll feel strong and weak at the same time.  And some of you may be overwhelmed by sadness because you lost someone you love there.
You'll look out at the sky from your home and wonder how nature could be so cruel.  You'll watch the seasons change and you'll have to do it from a new location.
The bottom line is that it will change you.  At times, you'll want to run away from your own life and at times you'll want to scream to the world that you feel more alive now than you ever have.  Since you've experienced true fear and you've spent a moment trapped under debris wondering if you were living out the last moments of your life, you'll have no choice but to look at life differently.  If you let God hold you through the million emotions you'll face...He will be your strength.  He understands when you feel like no one else does.  He is faithful in all of the details.
My favorite verse from the Bible is one that God gave me shortly after our tornado.  It is found in Isaiah 40:31  
"but those who hope in the LORD 
   will renew their strength. 
They will soar on wings like eagles; 
   they will run and not grow weary, 
   they will walk and not be faint."

You will be in my prayers and I will not forget you.  Healing will take time and lots of help from people that love you.  Soak it up.  The true friends are there long after your home is rebuilt but your fears remain.  They will visit your Facebook wall or text you during storms and say, "just checking on you, or I love you,  or I'm praying for you."  Those will be the gifts that come from tragedy.  And when you hear someone say, "I just love storms!!!  I stand outside and watch when we have tornado warnings."  Try very hard not to throw something heavy at their head.  They don't mean to be insensitive.  Not everyone can understand what you've been through!

Sincerely, and with lots of hugs and prayers,

A sister whose been in your shoes (the new shoes, of course...'cause who the heck knows where your other shoes are!"