Perceptions

I was having a conversation with a group of people over the weekend about big families.  I commented that I would happily add to our family through adoption again at some point.  And a comment was made to me that hit me in a funny way.  This particular person doesn't have children, isn't married, and probably hasn't even thought about family yet.  But, he (yes, he) said to me, "Maybe you should just be grateful for what you have."

I have to admit, I recoiled a little on the inside.  Then, I felt ready to strike.  I'm not talking about a beanie baby collection.  I'm talking about real people.  I'm not even talking about pregnancy.  I'm talking about souls that already exist.  And then the insinuation that I'm not grateful for my children made me feel like I needed to defend myself.  

I understand that there are crazy people in the world with big families that build them to fulfill a need in their own hearts. 

That's not me.  

Caring for children is God's calling on my life.  I am sure of it.  Nothing energizes me like it.  Nothing challenges me and grows me spiritually like being a mom.   And my heart is especially tender toward little ones without a mom.  

I realize that this is not everyone's calling.  There are many wonderful things that I see people engaged in, that I could never do.  When Es was in the hospital,  I was constantly in awe of her health care providers and the ease at which they did their job.  At one point, I thought...I should totally be a nurse!  And then Es threw up all over herself and her bed.  And I thought...I should NEVER be a nurse!  But I am super grateful for the people that God calls to be doctors and nurses.  I could go on and on with different skills and abilities that I admire in others.  But for me...caring for kids is where I land...every time.

I know each of my children to their very core.  Did you know that each child has a unique smell?  I know their moods, their likes and dislikes.  I know what makes them afraid, and what builds them up.  I see them as amazing individuals.  And I have a completely unique relationship with each of them.  They are not a collection.  They are my family.  

And as long as there are children without families, my heart will always hurt for them.  I may not be able to add them to my "herd"  But, I will advocate and drive people crazy about them.  

Because the bottom line is this:  The only thing we get to take with us to heaven are the people we connect with.  The houses, cars, money, belongings...will all rot away.  And if I can fit one more of "the least of these" into my van on the way to Jesus...I will!  And I'll be grateful...for all of them.