Apparently "B" hasn't had enough quality time with me lately. He scheduled an episode of strep two weeks ago and he injured his foot yesterday. Hubby and I had a
I'm not going to actually say that I was hoping for a break...because that would be TERRIBLE mothering. But, I kind of wanted to be right. You know...the whole, "I'm more in tune with our kids than you are" thing???
As it turns out, Hubby was right and I paid $50 bucks for a Phineas and Ferb sticker. B asked me to buy him an iced tea (half cut)-who is this kid??? Of course, I said, "NO!" and then he gently reminded me how brave he was during the x-rays and I turned the car toward McDonalds. And then we got home and he went running out into the yard for a water gun fight with the neighbors. In his defense, he really does have an injury. Right foot is very swollen and bruised. But, the water gun fight looked super awkward as he hopped through the yard trying to avoid the spray of water. It was very UN-matrix like.
You know...sitting in the dr. office waiting on the results put me in a very reflective mood. I thought about how we all deal with pain differently. And I'm not talking about physical pain. I'm pushing the button of emotional pain. I thought about how our symptoms don't always point to the real culprit. I thought about how hard it is to see some injuries...they are just too deep. But, I do know people that are hobbling through life right now. Does it make it worse when we don't deal with the pain? I don't have the answers. No, wait...I do. I remember a time when I was wounded. I had given so much of myself away that I was eventually numb to the pain. But, I did hit a breaking point. I did hit bottom. And thankfully when I hit it, I wasn't alone. I know that God changed my life. He gave me grace. He made me new. The old me, the broken and bruised me, is dead. Today, I am living a crazy full life. Yes. Bad things still happen in my life. But, I have a peace that I had never experienced before. I know that God has my back and I know that He works all things (even the crap) together for my good.
Easter is approaching. I don't feel like I'm being real if I don't tell you that I am a Christian...unashamed and in love with Christ. Easter may be linked to the Easter bunny and chocolate (cadbury eggs? yes, please!) But, for me, it is all about the cross. That cross was the bridge from my old life to my new life. It is the reason that I can confidently tell my kids that I'll never break my promise to love and stay married to their dad. It is the reason that I can withstand the storms of life. It is the reason that I can walk the road of adoption and welcome one more little person into my home.
I was broken and the cross healed me.
If any of you ever feel like you want to cross that bridge too, say something to me. I will totally let you lean on me as you hop across. :)
Big love to the readers tonight. Have a wonderful week, everybody!!
Awww, JILL!!! I loved reading this!!! First off(only in order of your post), I am SO like Rodney! Very slow on the "emergency" side of things:) And Eric is a little like you(although a little like me too:) Anyhow, I can understand the situation and laughing at $50 bucks! Although that is high, it has been more like $500 bucks for us! LOL!!! Oh anyhow! Second, it IS ALL ABOUT the CROSS!!! More so than Christ's birth(which is STILL of the upmost importance) but the CROSS is where it all lies! Our salvation, our transformation....HE went into hell and destroyed IT...destroyed death!!! Oooooh! I am getting all excited about our upcoming services which sing/speak about this!! SO powerful! I love how you talk about the PROMISE you made to your love! So important in todays world! SO important. This journey...ever challenging, ever hopeful....it is where it is at! Marriage as a sacrament, my spouse is in my life(as are my children) for my salvation! It is the upmost place where all this comes to surface...the place that keeps humbling me(as it should be)....the place that keeps challenging me to MORE patience...to MORE grace...to MORE forgiveness and mercy! Lord have mercy on me a sinner! And even though it is oh so hard, I welcome it(in a weird way) because THAT is where I can dry near and close to my Saviour and continue to rely on HIM alone!! OK, so as you can see you hit "home" for me:) So thank you! So one day(hopefully sooner than later) I want to do coffee with you and chat for some extended period of time! Praying for you guys and the road ahead and for the journey you are already on with adoption and family life! Love to you!!
ReplyDelete