Our Unconventional Snow Weekend

It is no secret that I'm a bit of a weather nerd.  I have several weather apps on my phone and I tend to enjoy conversations about weather patterns and trends.  Once, I made my husband order cable so I  could get The Weather Channel!

But weather nerds were not the only ones on weather watch.  I was at the grocery story with my entire town on Saturday morning.  After returning home from the busiest shopping trip in history, a thought occurred to me.  We are at the end of Christmas break.  My kids are bored out of their gourds.  How will I keep them from fighting?  How will I keep them off of their devices?  How will I endure one more episode of "Good Luck, Charlie"?  The answer came while I was at the library returning books.  I walked past a table stocked with snow themed books.  Those librarians are so clever!  As I perused the selection, my eyes landed on an oldie but goodie.  I knew this would be the answer to our snow weekend boredom.  I returned home with a plan formulating and a vaguely familiar feeling in my mind…could it be…excitement?

On Sunday afternoon, I gathered my bickering troops.

"I HAVE A SURPRISE!"  I announced.

"Go grab your pillows and blankets.  Put on your most comfortable pajamas and meet me back in the family room in five minutes", I said.

I could hear them chatting with each other.  The mood had changed.  Now they were working as a team to figure out what I had planned.  Did mom rent a movie?  Are we watching Netflix?  What else could there be?

I assembled my crew and asked hubby to build a fire.  The kids looked a bit perplexed because we do not actually have a fireplace.  Hubby, using the gift of modern technology, pulled a crackling fireplace up on the TV.

And I pulled out THIS:

And the most amazing snow weekend EVER…began!

I have kids that love to read and kids that do NOT love to read.  But we have bonded over this book.  We have bonded over the characters and the struggle.  It has been refreshing to hear questions about a time period that seems so foreign to us.  We've researched 1800's prairie style houses.  We've talked about one room school houses.  At breakfast on Monday, the kids begged me to start reading again. One of the boys commented that he couldn't wait to find out what happened when the Ingalls family moved into town for the Winter.  One of the boys asked if we could make food like they did in the story.  So, we pulled out this:

And we worked together:

To make this:

Which turned into this:

And something fantastic happened.  We decided that if we could make our own bread…(never mind the fourteen loaves we bought in anticipation of snowpocolypse)  we could do ANYTHING!  Even make our own fresh blackberry jam!

The kids were more proud of this snack than anything they've ever eaten before.

The kids even started calling us "Ma" and "Pa".
*Note that 24 hours later, Pa still has an amazing fire going!!!
And Monday night, we settled in to hear more of the Ingalls adventures.

We are incredibly stoked about having yet another day off of school Tuesday.  We still have much to learn about our Pioneer family.  And we have decided to bake Apple Pie from scratch.  If my kids don't show up to school on Wednesday…you'll know we didn't quite have time to finish our book.  :)

Here's the thing.  I could have moaned about being snowbound with five kids.  I could have begrudgingly forged ahead through three days of fighting and chaos. (Don't be deceived…we've had plenty of fighting and chaos as well here).  But, with a little creativity…we've turned our little suburban house into a shanty on the plains in the middle of Winter.  In an age where iPhones, iPods, and iPads rule, we have to fight for these moments.  In twenty years, my children will never remember what Netflix show they watched while they waited for the bread to rise, and rise, and rise, and…
But they will remember that we sat together and read a book.  They will remember building their own frontier home out of blankets and chairs.  They will remember the soft bread and sweet blackberry jam. And they will remember that we WANTED to spend time with them.  I know that I will put these memories in my heart for safe-keeping.  I will hold onto them and pull them out when my children are grown and out of my home.  And I will probably cry when I think about the small arms of my seven year old wrapping around my waist while I buttered bread to say, "Thanks for reading this book to us, mom! I'm really enjoying it!"

Be intentional with your children, friends!  It really does matter!!!

Wuv…Twu Wuv...

I want to talk to you about marriage tonight!

It is really hard.

Thank you for stopping by.

:-)

Just kidding!

Marriage is really hard.  But it is also really tough.  kidding again!  It is also really amazing.  The hubby and I are approaching 17 years of wedded bliss-ish-ness.  And I feel compelled to tell you the secrets we've picked up along the way that make it a pretty awesome endeavor.

I joined hands with my beloved at the age of 22.  I was so young.  I had no clue.  I hadn't learned to cook, balance a checkbook, or fight fair at that age.  And yet, I stood in a big dress and made promises that I had no idea how to keep.

We've lived on a couple of different continents, given birth (okay, that was mostly me) to four baby boys and adopted one sassy little Chinese girl.  We've given the term "home" to a scary non-soundproof apartment (very sorry, downstairs neighbors…we were newlyweds!), better apartments, a tiny little home, and our current two story that we moved into twice thanks to a tornado.

It is strange when you think about it.  When you marry someone, you make promises to them.  You promise to love them no matter where you live, how much money you have, how insane your kids make you, and regardless of all the other circumstances.  You declare that your body will only belong to that person for the rest of your lives.  You agree to adventure together, to support each other, and fight to the death to defend each other.  You are each others "safe place", "home".

I credit my beautiful and complicated marriage to a God that captured my heart before my eyes ever settled on my heartthrob.  I'm not at all implying that an amazing marriage isn't possible if you don't meet God first.  In all honesty, God can make marriage beautiful at any point.  You take a risk when you do it backwards.  But I've met so many inspiring couples that found Jesus together…down the road.

So, to wrap it up:
My most important elements of a satisfying marriage…

Travel the same Spiritual Road!

You like how I did that???  We're totally in the car in this picture…  Seriously, it makes it so much easier when a couple is on the same page with their faith!  From, "let's pray at dinner", to "let's give 10% back to God"  It is so much more enjoyable when you don't even need a conversation…you already agree.

Adventure Together!

He is a nature lover, I am a luxury hotel lover.  We compromise often and I allow him to pull me out of my comfort zone all the time!  Except for that one time when we were camping with the kids in Yellowstone and our tent had ice on it.  I'm never doing that again!  I mean it!  Never!

Laugh!  Joke! Smile!

It is okay to be silly…even in public…even when you feel too old.

Date Each Other!

When my husband comes home from work, he has to dig through enough kids to run a small sweatshop.  I look a bit haggard at times and our conversations get interrupted approximately 800 times.  When we date each other, I get to dress up all sexy for him and pay attention to ONLY him!  And when those gorgeous blue eyes are focused on me, I go from "mommy" to "woman" in 60 seconds!

Kiss!  Make Out!  Have lots of Sex!

I'm confident that my kids don't read this blog.  Otherwise, I would not risk giving them a stroke by including this.  But I'm serious.  We kiss more now than we ever have.  I spend time, money, and effort on being the only thing on his mind.  I think when the sex dies, the marriage suffers.  So, we put that as a top priority in our marriage.  We always have…we always will.

Go to the high school Homecoming dance!

(and totally take your kids)

You have to admit…it is a pretty effective abstinence message!  :)  I know not everyone can do this.  But, you can let your spouse know that their work is important to you.  Celebrate it, ask about it, support it!!

If you decide to raise a herd, do it with all of your heart!

Don't let kids come between you, and don't leave them out.  Delicate balance, my friends.

Show up every day…even if you don't "feel it"!

It is a marathon, not a sprint.  If you are having an especially difficult day with your spouse, imagine getting a call that they are no longer on this earth.  That will shake you into your right mind.  There are days when I feel like banging my head on a wall, but when it is all said and done, I could never do life without this guy by my side.  He is my rock.  He is my love.  He is my home.

What is Love?

 

I decided to ask my family about their thoughts on love.  Enjoy…and feel free to add your own ideas.

 What is Love?
"Love is a version of respecting someone.  It is forgiveness.  I'm not exactly sure what else."
What does Love look like?
"Not fighting with brothers."  "Love is a relationship between two or more people."  "Like, you can love someone in marriage, or you can love your family, or you can love a community."

What is Love?
"Love is when you like somebody... and they love you back."
What does love look like?
"You and Dad…because you guys kiss each other."

What is Love?
"Love is nice.  Love is helping people and caring for people.  Love is loving God."
What does love look like?
"Love is a really powerful thing in your heart.  Also, you guys, mom and dad…I can see that you love us…every time you tuck us into bed.  Love is also adopting kids that need homes."

What is Love?
"Caring about people, saying thanks, giving hugs and kisses."
What does love look like?

"Like you and dad kissing."

What is Love?
"Hug, Kisses"
What does love look like?
"A mommy daddy"

If Toby could talk, he would say that love is, "Being allowed in the house even after repeatedly running away, large treats, and kids tucking him in on the couch with a blanket."

What is Love?
"Love is sacrifice.  It is giving up something you want to keep, in order to give it to someone else.  It is placing value on someone other than yourself."
What does love look like?
"Love looks like my husband when he holds our newly adopted and traumatized daughter and says…"WE ARE DOING THIS!"  Love looks like my kids when they hop off my lap to make room for an orphan.  And they give up a piece of what is theirs to make her family.  Love looks like my friends when they show up daily to do life with me.  They allow me to share brokenness and joy with them.  Love looks like my parents fighting for the sanctitiy of marriage for 42 years now.  And love looks like a Holy and perfect God giving up His son to save my broken life.

 What is Love?
"Love is an intense desire to think of another person above yourself."
What does love look like?
"Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not boast, it is not full of pride. Love never fails."

Abortion Holocaust?

I just read something on facebook today that broke my heart.  Apparently, there is a war of words between daddy Duggar (yes...the one with 19 kids) and pro-choice groups.
Allegedly, Mr. Duggar referred to the high numbers of abortions as an abortion holocaust.

Unless we've been sheltered from history, we all know that "Holocaust" typically refers to the Jewish Holocaust during WWII.  During this incredibly sad period of time, under the abominable leadership of Hitler, many Jews were forced to live in hiding until they were found and taken to work camps and murdered.  This was a violent ripping apart of family units.  The Nazis were not respecters of gender or age.  Young and old, male and female, were targeted.  I cry when I allow myself to think of the fear they endured.

Hearing abortion linked with the word Holocaust could make sense as semantics go.  The dictionary defines a holocaust as, "a mass slaughter of people".  And babies are people.  So, it would logically follow that the mass slaughter of babies is, in fact, an Abortion Holocaust.

However,

I feel like a little bit of a broken record here...any maybe everyone is tired of my views.  But here they are anyway...;)

 I am a supporter of LIFE.  My heart hurts over the brokenness of abortion.  And I will tell everyone that listens that I support LIFE.  I have put myself in several situations that make it obvious that I support LIFE.  However, if I had a platform (like the Duggars do) I would NEVER throw out language like "abortion holocaust" Abortion is born out of sin and darkness.  It is believing the lie that ending a pregnancy is an easy fix without lingering emotional and physical pain.  But there are better ways to support LIFE than to throw out judgements.  That's why people dislike christians.  That's why the "world" doesn't want to talk to us when they face unplanned pregnancies like these.  Would you share your brokenness with someone calling you a murderer?  Do we want to be part of helping someone make a healthy choice for their body, heart, and soul?  Then, we can't stand ABOVE them and think we'll have an impact.  I'm so insanely tired of the self-righteous approach to this issue.

When my kids are doing something I don't agree with, how do I handle it?  Do I stand in another part of the house and scream, "YOU ARE MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE!!!"  NO!  That would not be part of my parenting package.  Instead, I go to where my children are.  I walk to them.  I don't yell at them to come to me.  I kneel down in front of them so my eyes are a little lower than theirs.  Isn't that the posture of someone in trouble?  Aren't their eyes cast downward?  I want them to see me.  I want them to know that my truth comes with heavy doses of love and expectation.

How can we impact the world unless we go to them.  How can we show Jesus unless we lower ourselves.  We are all broken and sinful people.  Some of us have had the complete fortune of knowing God's grace.  That's the only difference between us.  We certainly didn't get there on our own.  So, why in the world would we try to SHAME them with negative language?  Abortion is a choice made by broken people in awful situations.  It is not okay.  It is not an answer.  But, for the love of all that is Holy, can we agree that anything other than Love is a waste of time.  The lost and lonely can argue and find fault with everything else.  But when we approach them with love, well... I'm gonna throw it back to Jesus on this one.

1 Corinthians 13:13
"Three things will last forever-- faith, hope, and love-- and the greatest of these is LOVE!

Is anybody with me???

So you want to be a parent...

My kids are home from school today.  It is brilliant planning by the school system.  Schedule an in-service day on the day after trick-or-treating.  I know, I know...the teachers are saying, "It is STILL a work day for us."  And I agree.  But, see...I've been a teacher.  I've been through in-service days.  So, I know that while you must sit through meetings and try desperately to stay awake. (or grade papers on the sly)  You also get to sit in the quiet, use your brain for the greater good, eat lunch out with your friends, and GET PAID!  LOL  I love you, teacher friends!!!

Over here in crazy land, it is a completely different scene. 

Will the police come if the domestic dispute is between five siblings?

The kids are so jacked up that even the 70lb dog is hiding.

I wouldn't trade a minute of my life with anyone.  Yes, I actually ran through a few names to make sure that statement was accurate.  If I gave up the insanity, I'd also give up the joy.

I recently saw some tweets from a young girl about her intense desire to have "BABIES".

I shut down my phone and shook my head.  "People have no idea what parenting is really about."

But then I remembered that NEITHER DID I!

I was that girl fifteen years ago.  I'm sure there were plenty of people shaking their heads at me.  You know what I thought parenting was about before having kids?  I thought it was about dressing them in cute clothes and taking them places.  Yeah...I was an idiot.

It has taken me fourteen years to learn what parenting is about and I know I have years of growing and learning to go.  If I could tell the young version of me anything about what was to come...I would keep my big mouth shut!  :)  'Cause I wouldn't want to freak my young self out!

The idea of holding five fragile lives in my hands is almost too much for me to process even now.  They each have unique personalities and interests.  Some days they make me so proud.  And other days they make me think I've failed.  How could I have had the courage to take that on if I knew what was coming.  The details...oh, the details.  One hates peanut butter, one loves skinny jeans.  One has fears that I'll never fully understand, and one lives to PUSH EVERY BUTTON YOU HAVE.  One loves justice, another lives with his foot dangling across "the line." The meals, the laundry, the messy rooms, the messy life, the noise, the chaos, the toys, the birthdays, the holidays, the cost.

The COST.  What has been the cost of parenting for me?  

I posted a statement on facebook the other day and got some really funny and poignant answers.  I simply wrote:  Parenting is:  and asked people to fill in the blank.  My favorite answer was ...Parenting is: a reason to take up drinking and smoking.  LOL!  I needed that laugh!

But, I got so many reminders of what parenting does for me.  

It refines me.  It takes the selfishness I have and crushes it like an avalanche.  It forces me to think of someone else before myself.  It has pushed me to look at people differently.  The old me would have judged people by the way they dress, or talk.  The parent in me realizes that those differences are a gift. And lets be honest.  It has actually made me a little bit more amazing.  The old me would require complete silence to write a blog post.  I just wrote this one while the dog ran in circles under my desk, two kids had a sword fight and there are two devices playing different songs in the background.  

For those of you that have already raised teenagers, DO NOT...I repeat...DO NOT tell me what's coming at me! ;)  I'd rather stay blissfully in the dark!  

She's got the whole world in her hands

Last night there was a baseball game.

It played in the background...like a soundtrack in a movie.

I cannot recount for you any of the details of the game because I missed the entire thing.

I can, however, tell you what went down in front of the screen.

Birthday party planning for a child that has been 10 shades of emotional.  Half the time she is saying, "Happy Irtday coming" and the other half of the time she is crying and telling me not to sing "happy birthday to you" at her party.  All of this is peppered with the constant phrase, "no bye bye, mama!"

Local law enforcement was on the case pointing out the wrong doings of the rest of the clan.  This one believes in citizen arrests.  Which leads to SCREAMING!

E.M.O.T.I.O.N.A.L middle schooler...  (yeah...that's all I'll say about that)

"Mom, I REALLY want to write a book about Abraham Lincoln.  I need to do it RIGHT NOW.  What do you know about him?  Do you have any pictures from his life?"  (ummmm, for realz?)

"Mom, I peed in my bed last night.  I forgot to tell you."

"Mom?  Are you picking me up from basketball?"

"The dog ran away again."

"WHO STOLE MY RAINBOW LOOM NECKLACE??????"  (accusing all siblings!)

"Hey mom, Tomorrow is generational day at school.  I need an old man costume." (at 9:30pm)

"I'm out of lunch money."  "I forgot to turn in my homework"  "I hit my head on a brick outside, am I bleeding?"  "I need help on my homework."  "I'm supposed to read this to you."

"WHAT'S FOR DINNER?"

And to top it all off, because my daughter has spina bifida and lacks the ability to get her poo out by herself, it was time for her enema...which she totally loves...NOT!

You might be thinking, "Isn't she married?  Where is her husband in all of this?"  While he is an EXCEPTIONAL partner in all of this madness, he is also incredibly busy keeping the food and shelter thing going.

The thing is, when it finally got quiet...and all of the people were in bed...

I snuck up and walked into their rooms.  I leaned over and kissed all five foreheads.  I thought about how important each life is.  And I realized that if their chaos disappeared, my heart would die.

Baseball doesn't have the same effect on me. :)

So, tonight while the Cards and Sox face off again, I will no doubt be entrenched in the same brand of crazy.  But, I am blessed with perspective.  I know the days are long and the years are short.

Thank you, God, for the little people in my life!

Obedience!

I have noticed a resounding theme lately.  I'm pretty sure there is a reason that the topic of obedience keeps cropping up.  For me, obedience is a tricky issue.  In my heart, I WANT to do what God wants me to do.  But, the act of following in faith is not always easy.  And I'll be honest.  I often look at the price tag first.  In this way, I am just like my dog.  Yes.  My dog!  He has ONE trick, people.  We have tried over and over to teach him some fancy new stuff.  But, he prefers to stick to what he knows.  He knows how to shake.  He lifts his cute little paw up for a shake and waits excitedly for a treat.  I have given this trick a slightly different slant by calling it a "high-five" sometimes...just so it looks like my dog has two tricks instead of one.  But lets be honest...he's not an overachiever.

And yet...he comes at me all slobbery and growly begging for a treat.  I walk him to the pantry, pull out a bone and without being asked, he sticks that paw up in the air in anticipation.  He is super proud of this trick.  I'm sure there is a smile there underneath the large teeth.

So....can I have one?

NAILED IT!!!!!!..........AGAIN!

And...DONE!

But here's the problem.

I don't want to be my dog.

When God tries to teach me something new...I want to learn.  I want to try, even if it is new, scary, and I could possibly fail.  I don't want Him to look at me and say, "Child, there is so much more I want to teach you, but you HAVE. TO. FOLLOW. ME!

When we were pursuing Esther through adoption, I was completely unsettled.  I don't necessarily like that feeling.  But, when I am unsure, it allows God to show that He IS sure.  He isn't asking me to know everything already.  He isn't leaving me out there alone.  He has promised to walk with me every step.  And He has gone a step further and told me in His word that he is EXPECTING me to try new, crazy and radical things for Him.

Ephesians 2:10
"For we are God's masterpiece.  He has created us new in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."

I want to be obedient.  I want to drop the excuses like:  I'm too busy, too tired, too old, too crabby, too broken, too scarred, too scared.

I feel like God is asking me to get on board with something He wants to do.  It sounds insane to me and it makes perfect sense.  I feel like God is asking me to look into buying a house and setting it up for 2-3 young single moms and their kiddos.  It would be a safe, non-sketchy, place to have "HOME" where I would throw resources in such as: parenting help, cooking classes, family nights, financial planning, etc...  It would be a safe place to get on your feet while learning family skills that might not have been part of your own childhood package.

And when I say that I feel like God is asking me to do it, I mean...God is telling me to do it, people!  So, once again, I find myself in a situation that is uncomfortable and scary.  Ummm, first of all...I don't have money to buy a house.  And I know that this plan will require people with skills I don't possess.  But, I am committing to pray about it and see what doors God opens with it.

It would be a lot easier for me to say, "Here, God...here is my paw shake!  I can do that one really well!  Why do you want me to learn to roll over?"  God loves my paw shake.  He taught me how to do it.  But, He showed me that human obstacles are nothing to the King that can move mountains for His family.  So He wants to ask something new of me.

Friends, I know there are so many of you that have been loyal readers.  I know it is because you see your own journey in these words.  I hope I can adequately express the struggle and the victory.  Today I am asking that you would join with me in prayer.  I can't do anything great without God and YOU!  Please pray for God's direction in this.  I am hesitant to put this out there, because then I can't hide it in my heart any longer.

But life is short.  And I'm no longer interested in the tiny treat.
My heart's desire is to just obey the master!